Free Dead Ringer by Jessie Rosen

awkwardness that was
still lingering after that first week of school. Either Charlie was no longer
worried about Amanda getting jealous, or something had changed between them.
Either way, he was fully focused on her when they met and seemed to ask her as
many questions as she asked him.
    Laura fully intended to write a brilliant article for the
paper, but she also had a feeling this proximity with Charlie would help answer
some questions that wouldn’t end up in print.
    “Can you talk about what makes you nervous on the field?”
Laura asked during their second session together. It was an unusually warm day
for late September, and they were sitting in the gazebo outside the greenhouse
that the horticulture club had just finished constructing.
    “Disappointing people,” Charlie said, a hint of sadness in
his voice. The response was almost instant, but Laura had a feeling he didn’t
say those words often, if ever. “I put a lot of pressure on myself because I
know that I can do it if I work hard enough.”
    “Define ‘it’?” Laura asked. Charlie paused for a second. He
looked like he might be a little embarrassed.
    “Become a doctor,” he said. “Crazy, right?”
    “Whoa. I mean, it’s not crazy. But it was not what I
was expecting to hear,” she said. “What does that have to do with playing
soccer?”
    “Soccer is just the way I’m going to make it happen. My
grandpa wanted to be a doctor in the army, but he didn’t even have an eighth-grade
education. Then my mom wanted to go to nursing school, but she had me so young
that she could never afford to put herself through college. Please don’t print
this, but if all works out, I’m going to be the first Sanders to ever actually
make it past high school. And if I do, I’m going all the way.”
    “That is a beautiful thing,” Laura said. “I won’t print it,
but I’m really glad to know it.”
    Charlie smiled, relaxed now. “Thanks, Cali,” he said,
“You’re easy to talk to. So now you get to tell me something really deep.”
    “Like what?” Laura said. She liked that he’d taken to
calling her Cali exclusively, even if it was a bit of a cliché.
    “Like…what makes you nervous?” he asked.
    Laura thought for a second. Since her first day at Englewood,
she’d committed to being bold and brave, wearing what she wanted, making friends
she liked no matter their social status, and not hiding how much she enjoyed
her classes—even the tough ones. For the first time in her life, she
wasn’t constantly thinking about what everyone thought about her and it was
liberating; she actually felt lighter walking around in her body.
    “I guess I’m nervous about slipping back into the person I
used to be,” she said. Charlie raised an eyebrow, surprised by the honesty.
    “Who did you used to be?” Charlie asked.
    “This really quiet, nervous version of myself that let
people walk all over me,” Laura said. “I wasn’t as confident before. You know,
in California all the schools are open air, so you eat lunch at an outdoor
cafeteria and walk from class to class on this veranda thing.”
    “Ugh don’t make me more jealous than I already am…”
    “Yeah, well, people make a big parade out of the whole
strutting and sitting in the sunshine, and I hated how image-focused it always was.
I would compare myself to all of them and spend forever trying to figure out
how to impress them, which never worked, of course. I didn’t know how to be
myself. It’s not really a place that supports that. But I decided to start over
when I came here and just be exactly who I want to be. I think that’s made a
huge difference.”
    “I get that,” Charlie said, “I definitely fell into the
Englewood way when I got here, especially when I started dating Amanda. I guess
we have a lot in common, Cali.”
    Laura smiled. She wasn’t sure if he was flirting or just
being a sweet guy, but right now, she didn’t care. They were becoming friends
and that was worth