Free Just Ask by Melody Carlson

attitude problem. In her opinion, the whole world is messed up.
    Sometimes I wonder what Cesar and Jake see in her. But for some reason they seem to be old friends. And Chloe likes her too. I rank her right down there with Spencer Abbott, who I feel pretty certain is into drugs. But then Spencer only hangs with these guys occasionally since Jake usually ends up preaching at him, which is actually kind of funny.
    “Jamie so missed it this week,” says Nat. “Somepoor kid asked her about what happens after you die and—”
    “Then Jamie goes and says to just be cool with it.” Jake finishes for her in an affected voice that I find rather insulting. “like no big deal, and no hope or nothing. Man, it was so disgusting.”
    “Oh, come on,” says Cesar. “Don't be so hard on Jamie. He probably doesn't even have a relationship with God yet.”
    “What makes you think Jamie is a guy?” I ask with what I hope seems like nonchalance, although I'm trying to distract them from the content of yesterday's column.
    “I don't know,” admits Cesar. “Just the way he writes, I guess.”
    “Maybe Jamie goes both ways,” teases Marissa.
    “Well, he or she should give it a rest,” says Jake. “If you don't have an answer to a question as important as that, you shouldn't be giving kids advice. I'm starting to think that Jamie is really an old man who sits behind a desk and gets his kicks out of tormenting teenagers.”
    “I don't even see why you guys read that geeky column.” Marissa rolls her eyes. “It's so totally lame.”
    “Sometimes it's pretty good,” argues Nat. “Jamie's had some good answers.”
    I suppress a smile and the urge to hug her.
    “Not yesterday's,” says Jake. “Yesterday's advice was totally flaky.”
    “Well, maybe you guys should be praying for Jamie,”Chloe suggests as she squirts ketchup onto her fries.
    ‘That's a great idea,” says Natalie. “Why don't we all agree to really start praying for this Jamie chick?”
    “You mean Jamie dude,” teases Cesar.
    “Jamie the gender bender,” adds Marissa.
    “Did you guys ever see those old 'saturday Night Live’ reruns where no one knows whether that secretary is a girl or a guy?” says Cesar.
    “Yeah.” Chloe laughs. “Wasn't her name Pat?”
    “You mean his name?”
    And suddenly they are all chasing after a totally different subject. And while I should be relieved, their comments about yesterday's column make me feel sick to my stomach. In fact, I feel so bad that I eventually leave the table and actually call my dad at the office.
    “I want out,” I tell him.
    “Out of what?”
    I lower my voice now. “Out of the column. I'm tired of being Jamie.”
    He laughs. “But everyone at the office thinks Jamie is great.”
    “I don't care.” Then I notice someone approaching.
    “But Kim, we had an agreement.”
    “We'll talk at home,” I say, then hang up.
    I know I shouldn't take this stuff so personally, but it just really gets to me that my friends are so down on Jamie. Okay, I realize that I'm not really Jamie. Or am I? Crud, I'm not even sure right now. Am I having anidentity crisis? A personality meltdown? Could something like this turn me into a split personality? I wonder if I'll be able to sue the newspaper for my therapist bills someday down the line.
    But seriously, I'm the girl who always tries to keep a low profile, and I absolutely hate criticism of any kind. I work really hard to do everything just right, and I want to succeed at all I do. Too much to ask? Well, of course. But it's just the way I am.
    I won't admit it to anyone, but I'm sure I'm a really uptight type A personality. And as much as I hate thinking of myself like that, I know that it's true. As a result, to hear my friends dissing Jamie like that totally bums me. And I'm starting to really dislike my life.
    I feel slightly better when I get into my Jeep to drive Natalie home. Having wheels was part of my incentive for writing that stupid column in