Free The Not Gate (Tom and Alice #1) by Tammy Bench

the only visible thing was their obvious emotions.
    ‘Listen to me I may not be your age and I may be inexperienced, but I know how I feel, Mr Chambers, about you,’ the words were tumbling from her mouth now and she was so very afraid he would switch back to being her teacher and close the conversation down at any moment because of what was proper.
    ‘Tom. Call me, Tom for Christs sake, Alice. Do you see how impossible this is?’ he cursed, pulling his hand away from her face.
    He started to wrap the scarf back around her neck in silence. He looked away from her gaze. Clearly trying to detach himself.
    He was angry. She could see the muscle in his jaw working, jumping in impatience and his own strong hands were shaking a little.
    ‘I’m sorry… Tom,’ she felt completely done for, ‘I didn’t want to make this hard for you… I’m so stupid,’ she whispered.
    ‘Don’t say sorry, don’t you dare,’ he almost shouted, ‘this is me, I’m the fucking adult. I’m the fucking monster…’
    Tom turned sharply away from her. He paced for a few steps. His face looked like thunder and venom. She’d never seen it in him before, she’d never seen it in anyone before. Suddenly he stopped and punched the nearest tree hard enough that his face scrunched up in pain.
    ‘Tom, please don’t! Shit, are you okay?’ she flinched slightly.
    ‘Sorry Alice, I’m sorry,’ he was back at her side in an instant. He reached out again his fingers cupping the back of her neck sending little spikes of electrically charged sensation over her skin.
    His face was mad or maybe it was something else?
    ‘When you touch me I feel so…’ she stopped unable to put it into words for him, ‘…do you feel it?’ she asked quietly.
    ‘You’re so innocent. Of course I feel it. I don’t even have to touch you,’ his breathing became more rapid as he moved closer to her. God, he was going to kiss her. She felt her eyes drift close. But when it came she felt his warm lips press to her forehead. He kissed her like a parent and when he pulled back his face was stony and determined.
    ‘You know this has to be it, don’t you? This has to be it,’ he whispered solemnly.
    She wanted to scream, ‘no, this doesn’t have to be it. I want you like no one has ever wanted you before!’ but all she could do was nod. He was her teacher, and she was his student.
    ‘We should get the blankets,’ he kissed her forehead again and she breathed in his wonderful male scent, ‘I’m so sorry.’
    He turned reluctantly to start walking again. Taking her hand to lead her as he had before, but she didn’t move, she dug her heels into the soft wet ground, pulled back on his hand and closed her eyes.
    ‘Please kiss me,’ she quietly begged ‘…kiss me just once.’
    She opened her eyes carefully and watched his face, his full mouth and the strong lines of his cheekbones. His eyes told her he was thinking a thousand things in that split second.
    ‘I can’t. I want to more than anything, believe me. But if I kiss you I won’t stop. I won’t be strong enough to stop. I’ll destroy you, me and my career,’ he said honestly.
    ‘I don’t want you to stop,’ she replied flatly, tucking her hair which was being blown wildly by a sudden gust behind one ear.
    ‘You don’t know what you’re asking for, Alice,’ he warned, his voice turning strained, the whistling of the air making it harder to hear him, ‘if you did you wouldn’t ask.’
    ‘Maybe not, but I can’t go another day not knowing what it would feel like to have your lips on mine,’ raising her voice now, her chest lifting and falling desperately and if she were braver she would have reached for him.
    ‘God, don’t push Alice, please,’ he moved in and grabbed her shoulders tightly. He sounded scared, but the look he gave her was intense. It was a look she hadn’t seen before, that she didn’t recognise.
    ‘Tom?’ she questioned quietly.
    Do it, please. Just do it…
    ‘Come