Free A Mother's Secret by Amy Clipston Page B

are you picking us up, Trey?”
    “You name the time,” Trey said while steering into the long rock driveway.
    “How about two o’clock?” Amanda asked. “I have to study for that biology exam this weekend.”
    Hannah could hear the worry in her daughter’s voice. “You’ll do fine, mei liewe . You’ve gotten straight A’s so far in biology, so why are you worried?”
    Amanda sighed. “Thanks, Mamm . I’m just worried I’m notcut out for college.”
    Hannah faced her daughter and took her hands. “You will do fantastic. Stop doubting yourself.”
    “Thanks.” Amanda gave Hannah a quick hug by leaning between the front seats. “I’ll see you later.” She pushed the car door open and headed toward her waiting twin sister.
    “Bye, Mamm ! Bye, Trey!” Andrew yelled before leaping from the car and running up the driveway behind Amanda.
    Hannah looked through the windshield toward where Lily was hugging Amanda by the bottom step of the porch leading into Barbie’s mudroom. Then as Andrew hugged Lily, a knot formed in Hannah’s chest.
    Hannah stared at Lily and tears filled her eyes while the twins talked. Although Hannah was happy in her new marriage and in her new life running the Heart of Paradise Bed-and-Breakfast with Trey, she missed having all three of her children together. Being separated from Lillian left a gaping hole in her heart.
    Trey touched Hannah’s arm. “Go talk to her.”
    “The last time I tried to talk to her, she slammed the door in my face.” Hannah’s voice was thick with her heartache. “I don’t think I can stand more of that rejection. It’s difficult enough not seeing her every day. Facing the hate she has for me is even more painful than missing her.”
    “She doesn’t hate you, Hannah.” Trey cupped his hand over hers. “You’ll always be her mother, and she’ll always love you. You can’t give up on her. She wants you to reach out to her. Eventually, she’ll forgive you.”
    “I don’t think I can do it.” Hannah cleared her throat. “I just can’t.”
    “Yes, you can. Just go, Hannah. Try to talk to her.” He nodded toward the windshield. “Take as long as you need. I’ll wait here for you.”
    Hannah took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Lily met her gaze and then looked quickly back at her siblings. Hannah’s heart thumped in her chest as she made her way toward her children.
    Lily looked over at Hannah again and then pointed toward the back door. “You can go inside. Mammi made kichlin for you.”
    “Which kind?” Andrew asked.
    “Oatmeal raisin.” Lily grinned. “Your favorite.”
    “Awesome!” Andrew pumped his arm before racing up the porch steps and disappearing into the house.
    Hannah studied her twins as they stood together with their stark differences never more pronounced. Although they were fraternal with different hair and eye color, they looked even less alike now as Lily wore her prayer covering, plain dress, and bib apron. Amanda had quickly adapted to college life, choosing jeans, blouses, and sweaters more often than skirts and dresses. Her blonde hair hung in a braid that nearly reached her behind since she still refused to cut it. She wore a tiny bit of make-up that Hannah could only see if she examined her face, which made Hannah happy. Although Hannah wanted her daughter to make her own choices, she took comfort seeing Amanda ease into this new life with grace. She no longer dressed Amish, but she still looked like a respectful young lady.
    Amanda’s expression was hesitant, and Hannah assumed her daughter wanted to be sure Hannah and Lillian were going to be civil toward each other before she went inside. Amandahad assumed the role of peacekeeper since they left the community. She was the one who asked Lily to calm down when she got upset with Hannah.
    “Lily,” Hannah began, her voice still thick. “It’s gut to see you. I’ve missed you.”
    Lily lifted her chin in defiance. “That didn’t stop you from