Free Not Enough: Is love ever enough? (The Enough Series Book 1) by Nikole Bloom Page B

drink.
    “You look pretty smoking yourself Bode. I bet we can find you
a friend before the night is over.” His blonde hair is tied back with a few
strands falling onto his face. He is wearing his signature blue jeans and a
paisley button down shirt that only he could make look hot.
    “Well, thank you pretty lady, but I am a one woman man
tonight. I am only here for you.” This is so unlike Bode and worries me. He is
either worried about me, or he has feelings I was previously unaware of. For
now, I am going to choose to believe it is the former.
    “When do we need to leave,” I ask hoping for a change of subject.
    “We have about fifteen minutes,” he says refilling his drink.
    “Perfect, I am going to make a quick call before we head out
if you don’t mind,” I say as I head for the living room.
    I need to talk to Austin to remind myself the main reason I
am putting myself through this tonight. I press his contact and stare at the
picture of the two of us before pressing call. Again, he answers on the first
ring:
    “Hey baby, is everything ok?”
    Just the sound of his voice makes me happy.
    “Yeah everything is fine; I just wanted to hear your voice.”
    “Ry, what’s going on? You don’t sound fine to me.”
    “Nothing is going on, Aus. Can’t a girl just want to talk to
you?”
    “You, my dear, can do anything you want but something is up,
so spill it.”
    I explain the plan for the night and I can hear the anger
rising in Austin. I am not sure which he is more upset about the fact that I am
going to see Ryan or the fact that Bode is here with me. I remind him several
times that I am doing this for us, but it doesn’t seem to calm him.
    “Rylee, I really wish you wouldn’t do this. Or at the very
least let me be the one there with you.”
    “Austin, you know I, well you know, and once this is done I
will be free of him.”
    “I wish I knew that were true Ry. Are you sure this is the
right move?”
    “The truth is Aus I don’t, but it is the only thing I know to
try. I will explain the entire sordid story when I get back, and you will
understand.”
    The line goes quiet except for our combined breathing before
I feel compelled to break the silence.
    “I miss you Aus.”
    “I miss you too Ry, please call me or text me, so I know you
are ok.”
    “I will, baby, talk to you soon. Bye Aus.”
    “Bye Ry and remember I you know you.”
    Just hearing his voice has given me renewed courage to face
my past. I know that I should have never let Ryan have this much power in my
life, but as time went on it became easier to hide than to face him. There
really shouldn't be much to the confrontation; all I want to know is why. Why
wasn't I good enough? It is not that I want Ryan back, I don’t. I just need to
hear him tell me why.  
    After being with Austin, I know that I was never truly in
love with Ryan. I was in love with the security and the feeling that I
belonged. That is what he stole from me, my sense of a permanent place in the
world.

Chapter 14
    Bode and I
climb into the car provided by his service and head over to our favorite
Italian restaurant on the edge of town. I have never come up to the cabin
without making it to Ambrogio's. It is a small restaurant with a rustic Italian
ambiance. There is a large, stone fireplace in the center of the restaurant
that is both practical and decorative burning bright. The dark red walls
magnify the exposed wood and high ceiling.
    Bode and I are seated at a small table in the corner of the
room. The candlelight sets a romantic mood, the last thing I need right now.
    Bode is quiet except for his exchanges with our server.
Something is on his mind as he tests the flavor of the wine he ordered before
accepting it. He is not being rude or anything but something is wrong. I have
known him most of my life and Bode is always the life of the party.
    I want to ask what is wrong but my head is swimming in the
what ifs surrounding tonight. What if seeing Austin and