Free Devoted Defender by Rachel Dylan

happen.” He paused for a moment to collect himself. He wasn’t going to talk about everything that he had experienced during the war in the mountains of Afghanistan, while chasing down terrorists. It was too hard to speak to anyone about.
    “I can’t even begin to comprehend what you went through when you were deployed.”
    He shook his head. “I wasn’t telling you this to get your sympathy, but to let you know that I have issues, too. You’re not alone in that, Annie. It’s just that sometimes our baggage takes different forms”
    “But you’re so strong.”
    “It maybe appear that way now, but I’ve gone through some rough spots. Times when I was caught up in my own fear instead of turning it all over to God. When I came back from my last deployment three years ago, I was in a dark place.”
    “How did you get through it?”
    He barely did. But he was trying to be more optimistic right now to help her see that there was a path out of this situation. The last thing he wanted to do was to bring her down. “When I realized that the only way I found courage was through faith in God, I regained peace. It was a slow process of building my faith in the context of everything I’d gone through. But that process made me much closer to God and forced me to rely on Him. Because when I was trying to shoulder it all by myself, I was failing miserably.”
    “That’s powerful to hear how God has worked through your life in such a profound way. I probably wouldn’t even be here today if it wasn’t for my faith. My mom had a lot of flaws, but the one thing she did do is make sure I went to church. I’d often go by myself because she couldn’t or wouldn’t go. But she insisted that I needed to. She said that it would help lead me down a different path than her. I didn’t get it when I was young, but as I grew older and stronger in my faith, I understood. So I’m thankful that in that one most important area, she got it right.”
    “Yes, she did.”
    “Thanks for listening.”
    “With His help we’re going to get through all of this.”

Chapter Five
    The next two days went by slowly. Gabby hovered over Annie like a mama lion during the day while Caleb was working. Annie was always relieved when Caleb came home because he gave her more space than his sister. Gabby’s constant state of high alert was starting to make Annie incredibly anxious. She was appreciative that Gabby cared so much, but it was all taking its toll on her.
    Even though she’d spent a lot of time with Gabby, she wasn’t really getting to know her. Gabby was all business, so that mostly left Annie to her own thoughts.
    Annie still couldn’t believe that she had opened up to Caleb. Even now at twenty-eight years old, the events of her past gripped onto her heart threatening to squeeze it into pieces. This wasn’t about what was the most logical or rational—it was about her deep seeded fears.
    Sometimes she felt herself recede into that seventeen year old girl who had been betrayed by those who were supposed to protect her. And that didn’t even begin to touch the surface on all of the unresolved issues she had because of her mother. There was no doubt in her mind that she was damaged. That’s why it was so much easier to not let anyone get close. When she was cooking she wasn’t living in the past and could focus on her true passion—food.
    She’d stayed away from romantic relationships because she had a distrust of men. She wasn’t willing to take the plunge on a guy because she feared that she’d turn out just like her mother—codependent and struggling. It occurred to Annie that she had never seen her mother truly happy. Even with the various men in her life, she was lonely and miserable. Annie wouldn’t live like that.
    She sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and her now trusty sidekick Buddy close by. She had to admit that she had started to form an attachment to him. Something she specifically did not want to allow