he didn’t type back. He’d gone offline.
But still, he did say
hi
, and that’s more than he’d said to Lauren. We scrolled through the photos he’d posted and we each “liked” one of him by a pool taken in the summer. He’s wearing a bathing suit and nothing else, and let’s just say that if Calvin Klein ever saw that picture, he’d ask Jared to be one of his underwear models.
This morning Mom made French toast, but since Lauren thinks her thighs are too big and I worry about my upper arms, we only had one slice each and a bunch of fruit. Then Lauren said she should go ’cause she had a lot of homework to do. I walked her to the front door. Stewart was saying goodbye to his troll-clone on the sidewalk. Albatross or whatever his name is got into a Lexus driven by a pretty South Asian woman.
Then, just as the Lexus pulled away, a silver MINI Cooper drove up. The driver was a handsome black guy. I’d never seen him before.
But I’d seen the guy in the passenger seat many times. It was my dad.
Things moved in slow motion.
I saw the man in the driver’s seat lean toward my dad in the passenger seat, and I suddenly knew what was about to happen.
“Hey, isn’t that—” Lauren began.
“Bat in the cave!” I shrieked, turning her toward me and away from the car.
“What?”
“Booger. You’ve got a booger,” I said.
“Oh, gross!” She dug around in her pocket for a Kleenex. While she dealt with the nonexistent booger, the man in the driver’s seat kissed my dad.
On the lips.
Stewart saw it, too.
My dad smiled, turned—and spotted me, Stewart, and Lauren. His smile vanished.
Lauren tucked the Kleenex into her pocket. “Gone?” she asked me.
“Gone.”
She turned around just as Dad climbed out of the car, carrying an overnight bag. “Who’s the guy with your father?”
“A guy he works with. He just came back from a business trip,” I lied.
“Hey, guys,” my dad said, looking super-uncomfortable, which was only appropriate. The MINI Cooper pulled away.
“Hi, Phil,” Stewart said.
“Hi, Mr. Anderson,” said Lauren.
I, on the other hand, didn’t say a word. I just marched back into the house and slammed the door.
—
MOM WAS IN HER bedroom, doing a yoga routine to a podcast. She was in warrior two when I told her what I’dseen. I thought she’d be upset. Instead she said, “He told me a few weeks ago that there was someone he was interested in. He met him in his cycling club, I think.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Honestly? It brought up a lot of mixed emotions. But I keep reminding myself that I’ve moved on—why shouldn’t he?”
“But what if one of my friends sees him in public?” Then another, more horrifying thought occurred to me. “What if he starts bringing this guy home??”
Mom stopped doing her yoga routine. She smoothed a piece of hair from my face. “Ashley, I’m truly sorry this is so hard for you. But try to put yourself in your dad’s shoes for a moment. Why shouldn’t he bring this person home? I brought Leonard home, didn’t I?”
“This is different. You know this is different!”
“Why? Because he’s gay? You’re sounding remarkably homophobic, which is not how we raised you.”
“I’m
not
. But some of my friends might be.”
“If your friends have a problem with it, then they’re clearly not your friends.”
“Oh my God. You don’t understand anything. Why is everyone in this family so determined to ruin my life?”
Mom sighed. She went back to her yoga, moving into downward dog. “You’re right. There’s no use pretending anymore. We actually hold secret meetings once a week, just to figure out new ways to torment you and make your life a living hell.”
“I
knew
it!”
“That was my attempt at sarcasm, sweetheart. Contrary to what you believe at this stage in your life, we aren’t all out to get you. So please stop being so melodramatic.”
This made no sense whatsoever. How can you be
Eileen Griffin, Nikka Michaels