Free Species Interaction by Cheyenne Meadows Page B

had sleep poofed to the city museum. Dang it.
    Frantically, I searched for security guards as an awful chill raced down my spine. It might be tricky trying to explain why I stood in my pajamas in the middle of the antiquities section of the museum at two am.
    No voices carried, no medieval army appeared with clubs or spears, and no huge dinosaur skeleton pounded around the corner. After millions of years with a meal, he would probably consider me a tasty Shy blueberry muffin. I could see the obituary now: "Local woman snack for ancient beast."
    On an up note, landing in the museum made for a pleasant change from my usual landings filled with naked and perverted people. The museum might have a handful of naked sculptures and painting subjects, but those were tasteful and widely acceptable. No one dropped their drawers and started fondling themselves. Thank goodness.
    Looking ahead, a flash of colors caught my attention. Tentatively, I took two baby steps closer to the small item under glass. One side looked to be dull brown, resembling an ordinary river stone. The other half… boy, howdy . It sparkled like a perfectly clear night sky full of hundreds of stars. Blue, yellow, red, and orange shined pure and clean. The prism winked a myriad of colors even in the dimmed light.
    This had to be it! Meat's precious stone.
    I moved excitedly to bring myself closer, but something held me in check. Thoughts raced through my mind. Visions of movies past came into focus.
    What if they had those little red laser beams all around? What if a large fly flew through the beam? Would that set it off? Does it double as a bug zapper and big time high technology alarm? Or did multiple beams have to be breached at once? What if a lost turtle found its way inside? Would he go to turtle lockup? Or would the beams turn him into crispy turtle soup on the spot? Come to think of it, what would it do to humans? The first zap you lose your eyebrows, nose and pubic hair? The second zap and you're convulsing on the floor, wetting all over yourself?
    Maybe this alarm had potential. New. The Nose and Pubic Hair Zapper. No more waxing. No more plucking. Simply step up to the laser and all your hair will simply singe to nothing. Ear hair sufferers listen up… Did the system come with an owner's manual to explain these things? After all, I couldn't be the only person on the face of the earth that ever thought about those possibilities.
    I stared longingly at the item, tempting me to come closer. The colors promised rightness and wholeness and a glimpse of something more powerful.
    Common sense reared its head. I lacked James Bond skills and refused to trifle with the potential of another jail encounter. My family would never forgive me and the same judge as before would sentence me to cleaning dead rats out of the sewer systems for eternity. The thought alone made me shudder. Not enough therapy in the world existed for sewer rat patrol.
    Patting around my waistline, it took me a moment to realize I remained in my fluffy pink jammies. A cell phone didn't go with the outfit. Grumbling, I glanced back at the gleaming stone before focusing on home and poofing out.
    The second I realized I landed at home in one piece, I raced for the phone, quickly punching in Meat's cell number.
    "What?" he snarled into the receiver.
    Jumping, it took me a long moment to find words. "Hi, Meat."
    "I'm busy, Shy. What is it?"
    Mr Liger must have that stick in his rear again by his tone. Just what I needed. With a determined sigh, I started talking. "I found your sacred item. It's in the city museum right by…"
    He broke in. "I already know that. What I don't know is how you discovered it."
    I paused and blinked. "Well, I was sleeping and kinda woke up staring at it. I must have sleep poofed…"
    A colorful curse followed. "Sleep poofed? What the hell? When did you start that?"
    "Umm. A while back. It happens now and again."
    He sighed loudly. "I don't need this right now." I could