Free #TripleX by Christine Zolendz, Angelisa Stone

banging my forehead on the roof. “What the Hell did you do that for?” I asked, rubbing my head and coming back into the car.
    “Thought it would be funny,” she smirked, speeding up again. Skid marks and smoke trailed behind us. We were never getting to Vegas. We were going to die in a fiery crash of twisted metal and poorly packed luggage. Somebody would go through the wreckage and find my Pepto Bismol pink vibrator with clitoris stimulation and anal plug while judging my whorish, perverted ways.
     
     
    “Pardon me,” the judge interrupts. Why the hell does she have to keep interrupting my story? “Are you telling me you committed grand theft auto? Then endangered the lives of the people in your community by disobeying traffic laws and…”
    “No,” I lie, narrowing my eyes at her. “Angelisa pleasantly drove the speed limit and adhered to all traffic laws for the remainder of the drive. It was quite entertaining and enjoyably relaxing. I never once feared for my life in the least.” I cross my arms over my chest. At this point I just want to tell my story and sit back down, let her really arrest me for something . Just give me a pen and paper, so I could write this shit down.
    “Ms. Zolendz, the district attorney is overwhelmed by the Affidavit I’m holding in my hands right now. And personally, I don’t know what to make of it either. I’m trying to give you the chance to explain yourselves…”
    “She’ll get on with it, your Honor,” Angelisa says, smiling brightly.
    “Please continue,” Judge DREAD orders.
     
     
    Angelisa hit cruise control at THE LAWFUL SPEED LIMIT. “You want to listen to music?”
    “No. I want to talk about that gorgeous, sweet man you call husband,” I pried.
    “Nope. Off limits. I can’t think about him right now,” she stated, cutting me off.
    “Seriously, what’s going on? There’s more to your story than you’re telling me. Did you find him banging some bedazzled thing at work?” I asked, with a bitter laugh.
    “No, it’s nothing like that. We just don’t… It’s just not the same anymore,” she said just above a whisper.
    “Are you telling me you’re not in love with him anymore?” I asked.
    “I just don’t know if either of us are. What if we’re just together, because that’s where we’re stuck?” She turned toward me, her eyes welled with unshed tears. “Did you ever get that heart-pounding, exhilarating feeling when you were with someone?”
    “Sure. I used to have that with Scott when we were younger, you know that first stage of a relationship where everything is new and exciting. Way before kids.” I said.
    “Yeah. Then the person you had this great love for just turns into a regular, extremely flawed, annoying human being,” she continued.
    “Yep. Same person that used to give you butterflies from a look across a room makes you sick to your stomach with their nail clippings, dirty underwear, and chainsaw snoring,” I added.
    “And their jokes aren’t funny anymore. Their cologne makes you gag,” she cringed.
    “The thought of having sex with them is akin to getting your teeth pulled by some guy who practices dentistry from the back of his old station wagon,” I laughed.
    “All you end up doing is wondering every day what the hell happened to us? Where is the person I fell in love with? And who the Hell am I in this relationship? Where did I go?”
    “That’s marriage, though, isn’t it? When you’re with someone for so long it gets easy to start taking each other for granted and lose sight of each other and staying friends. But you guys went on dates every week and…”
    “See, that’s just it. We haven’t done that in months. God, Chris,” she wiped at her eyes. “I can’t even remember the last time we had sex.”
    “What’s sex?” I laughed, looking out into the distance of the road we were on.
    “We used to have amazing sex. Really dirty stuff. Like the erotica I write about in books. We’ve done