Free Billionaire Secrets of a Wanglorious Bastard by Alexei Auld

you're a slave to the coffee bean.”
    “Hey, leave the coffee bean alone. Unlike your clients, it never pulled a gun on anyone. Never embezzled funds. It just provides warmth, energy.”
    “And caffeine addiction.”
    She faked a laugh. “Hardy har-har.”
    Some scruffy dude came out of the kitchen. Her boyfriend? “Closing time, Sif.”
    She waved him away without looking. “Okay.” She stared into my eyes. “You like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest ? It's playing in the park for free.”
    Guess not. “Unfortunately, I have to go back to the cuckoo’s nest.”
    As I walked out she said, “So what is gonna be? The pillow or the garbage can.”
    What did she mean by that? Soon as I turned, her “man” locked the door. Sif waved and went to the back. And I went back to work.  
    I had Rhage's birthday the next night. I sent an email to Stack, and he said it would be fine for me to take the night off.
    After working all day, I dropped off a thick pile of papers on Stack's chair.
    I went to my office, stumbling from being worn down. I turned off my computer, and as soon as I was about to leave, my phone rang. I leered at it and was relieve to see the LCD screen read “OUTSIDE CALL.” I picked up
    “Hello?”
    I should have never picked it up.

33

    IT WAS STACK. I had to do more work. Some emergency assignment. I called Rhage but she wasn't at home. I would've called her cell phone, if she had a cell phone. She didn't want the phone waves affecting her creative brain waves. Seemed bogus, but whatever. I called the restaurant and left a message that I was running late and would be there as soon as I possibly could.  
    Then I typed like a fiend, writing a memo from hell while frantically looking at a wall clock.
    I hurriedly retrieved a printout then saw a typo. And realized I needed to do more research.
    About two hours later, I was finished. I dropped the memo on Stack's empty chair, left the office, and then returned. More typos.
    I typed like a man possessed and dropped a new report before dashing out.
    The waiter took me to our table. It was filled with empty dishes and sake bottles. No Rhage.
    The waiter said, “Will you be paying cash or charge?”
    Rhage wasn't home either. I slept alone. And woke up the same way.

34

    “WHY'D YOU ANSWER the phone?”
    That was Sif. At the coffee shop. “It said outside call. How was I supposed to know that Stack would be calling?”
    “I'm sorry, I forgot the drill. You're on call all day.” She refilled my cup. With decaf. “The lifestyle isn't for everyone. You ever think of doing something else?”
    “I'm not going to give up just because of a missed birthday and the makeup for the missed birthday.”
    “You're not going to give up, but what about her? This isn't a fluke, Rufus.”
    “I can tell the partners further in advance in the future, so I can plan.”
    “That's what James thought.”
    “James?”
    “It was his anniversary and his wife called two months in advance to tell Stack of a surprise party. Two months later at the party, James was nowhere to be found. Stack arrived and helped himself to punch and cake.”
    “Did Stack know where James was?”
    “Of course. James was back in his office working on an assignment Stack gave him that day. After his wife found out, we all filed out giving our sympathy.”
    “What about Stack?”
    “He had a second helping of cake. The fucked-up thing? James had no idea his wife planned a surprise party. She didn't have the heart to tell him. The next week, he found out and didn't know what to do. Curse out Stack and lose his job and default on his mortgage or keep his job and spit on his marriage?”
    “What did he do?”
    “The next best thing. Had a nervous breakdown.”
    I choked on coffee.
    “You okay?”
    I wasn't, but I nodded.  
    “The job's no joke, Rufus. Time is money. Your ass belongs to them. Not to your honey. Not to your mama. Not to yourself. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you