Free Lifesong by Erin Lark

me to give up on what we had—what we could have if we let the Earth die. I didn’t have to worry about the Earth’s anger. I wasn’t a child anymore. I didn’t plan to have children, and by the time the Earth did decide to die, it’d be generations from now. It wouldn’t affect us at all.
    What about the guardians? What about the wolves? Damn them and their precious laws. I preferred it when I’d been back at the ward. Things had been a lot simpler back there. There’d been no pack, no crisis. All I had to do was obsess over a wolf—a talking wolf—but still just a wolf. One wolf. One. Ever since I learnt about the guardians, things had got way too complicated. Even for me.
    I exhaled a breath into the humid air to release the tension in my chest. Condensation streaked down the tiled walls like tears. I held mine back. I knew sitting around and waiting for the world to end wasn’t really an option, not when I had the power to keep it from happening. That was why Tucker was so open to the idea. So calm.He’d seen this happen once before. He’d probably had the same thoughts about his guardian when he was still human. He gave up on love so he could find it again.
    This whole thing made my head spin, but somehow I understood why Tucker had said what he did, and in the end, I couldn’t blame him. He hadn’t had to tell me any of the things he did, but he’d done it anyway. Either out of concern for my wellbeing or knowing how much his loss pained him, he’d told me. And, at least for now, we could enjoy one another’s company. There would be no surprises. I only hoped when the time came, I’d be ready to let him go, to sing to the Earth and become a guardian.
     
    * * * *
     
    Tucker
     
    Emma hadn’t spoken a single word since before she’d got in the shower, but I could tell what I’d said earlier was still lodged somewhere in her mind. Her body tensed whenever she looked at me, and she went rigid when I tried to tuck her into bed. It wasn’t her fault. I shouldn’t have told her.If I’d kept it to myself, I wouldn’t have had to see her like this, in so much pain. It was clear to see I was the one who'd put it there.
    But that’s not what you’d want. Given the choice, I would’ve wanted Ika to warn me so we could’ve enjoyed our time together in some other, more meaningful way. I wasn’t sure what it would’ve been, but I knew telling Emma now was better than her finding out later on.
    After tucking the blankets around her, I changed into my wolf skin and curled up at the foot of the bed. I waited to hear her breathing slow, to hear her fall into dreaming, but she stayed awake.
    I crept up to the middle of the bed and nuzzled at the back of her neck. When she stirred, I settled down behind her, resting my muzzle against her cheek.
    “What keeps you awake?” I asked, grimacing when my tail flopped on the mattress behind me.
    Emma placed a hand on my nose, walking her fingers up my muzzle to scratch me behind my ears. “You should stay like this more often.”
    “What, you like dog breath?” I rumbled.
    “I don’t mind it.” Emma shrugged and curled her arms to her chest. “It feels right—you being like this.”
    I relaxed, getting as close to her as I could. “But this is only half of me.”
    “You said you were a child once. How old were you when you found your guardian?”
    “She came to me when I was five. Back then, the Earth faced other dangers, apart from the human race. That’s why Ika came to me. I found her when I was nineteen.”
    “So, you were a boy for nineteen years, and you’ve been a wolf for how long?”
    My ears flattened against my skull. “One hundred and fourteen years.”
    “Then, wouldn’t it be right for me to love the wolf, the older part of you, more than the man you used to be—the one I’ve never met?”
    “I guess you’re right. I’d never thought of it like that before. But then, does this mean you’re in love with me, or the idea of