Free Attack of the Fairytale Zombies! by Pj Jones Page A

17,000 words so far. We need to drag out the plot a little longer.”

“Wizard, what happened?”
    Barth carefully climbed off Drag’s back and in through the tower window. Carefully, because he didn’t think he could survive the 200 foot drop. And if he suffered the misfortune of surviving the drop, he’d be eaten alive by zombies.
    A whole horde of them was moaning for brains below and pounding on the tower walls. Oversized rabid werewolves, sparkling vampires, crazed pixies and even giant trolls were among the brain-thirsty ghouls. Judging by the pile of rubble that was once the king’s twenty-foot electrified security fence, Barth knew it would only be a matter of time before they brought down the tower as well.
    “The entire town has been zombiefied,” the wizard cried out while pacing the floor of his darkened chamber, illuminated only by jars of scented candles. “They’ve run out of brains and have stormed the castle.”
    The king, who sat huddled in a corner with his few surviving guards, stood on trembling legs. He grinned sheepishly. “I tried to feed them cake but it didn’t work.”
    “My tower is the only part of the castle they haven’t been able to penetrate,” the wizard said. “I put an anti-zombie force-field around it which should hold them off for at least a few hours.”
    “A force-field?” Barth scratched his head. “That’s a little sci-fi for a fairytale. Are you sure it will work?”
    As if on cue, a crazed little zombie pixie flew around Drag’s enormous flapping wings and tried to burst through the tower window. She was zapped on the spot. Her steaming little ashes floated down toward the ground.
    The wizard arched a brow while folding his arms across his chest. “You were saying?”
    Barth swallowed hard as he leaned his head out the window and watched the pixie’s ashes break apart in the breeze. He quickly pulled back. “So this force-field only works on zombies, right?”
    The wizard nodded. “Any zombie who tries to enter the tower will be fried like a mosquito in a bug zapper. But the force-field’s battery level has already dropped to fifty-percent and the zombies knocked out the power, so I can’t recharge it.”
    Barth’s jaw fell open as he finally took in his surroundings. He’d initially thought the wizard was having a candle party, but now he realized the wizard’s chamber was so dark because he had no electric lighting. No wonder there were no cookies and punch.
    “That sucks,” he said, not just because the electricity was out, but because he’d really been hoping for some refreshments.
    The wizard heaved a sigh before turning mournful eyes on Barth. “Yes, especially since our only hope now, Barth,” the wizard groaned, “rests with you and your dragon. Please tell me you were able to recover the potion.”
    Barth grimaced. “Almost, and then the penis prince stole your broom and took off with the potion.”
    The king gasped. “My son stole the potion? That kid’s grounded for a week.”
    “Oh, wow, King,” Drag called dryly through the window. “Such a harsh punishment for dooming an entire kingdom to a flesh-eating zombie curse.”
    “You’re right.” The king nodded, looking totally unfazed by Drag’s caustic tone. “He’ll be grounded for a weekend with no television. That ought to teach him.”
    Barth grabbed the wizard’s arm. “I need to go after the prince. Wizard, can you use your giant pussy to find out where he went?”
    The wizard leveled Barth with a glare. “My giant eye was finally working and then the zombies knocked out my satellite internet.”
    Barth snickered. “That’s what you get for not switching to DSL.”
    “Barth,” the wizard pleaded, “you have to find the prince and get that potion, either that or slay everyone in fairytale kingdom who have now turned into zombies.”
    The king raised a hand. “I vote he slays the zombies.”
    “No.” Barth shook his head. “Heather would have wanted me to go