Free Shadows Amongst Light (The Spy Who Loves Me) by Mary Eason Page B

closed my eyes refusing to allow him the satisfaction of seeing my pain or my fear. My fingers spread out desperately across the wall as far as I could reach trying to find something to use to at least get him off of me and get some advantage back.
                  I heard his laugh--it sounded just as evil as his smile had been. He knew what I was trying to do and he was enjoying my fears quite thoroughly.
                  At the sound of that laugh, I became desperate. I kicked his legs, his groin anything that I could reach but my feeble attempts to escape only seemed to amuse him that much more.
                  He shook me again, sending my head crashing back against the wall. I screamed at a sharp piercing pain that ripped through the back of my head.
                  My capture ripped the buttons of my shirt open, his long fingers cold against my skin. He wouldn’t kill me right away. He’d bring me close then bring me back to torture me some more.
                  I knew that I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing just how frightened I was at that moment. To cover my fear and give me strength to endure the torture I tried one final tactic.
                  “Go ahead creep, give it your best shot. But you should know there are others on their way here right now. They’ll be here any minute and then you’re toast just like your two friends over there.”
                  For a second I thought I saw his uncertainty. He took his eyes off me for a moment looking around the dark section of the alley giving me the opportunity to see just how desperate my situation truly was.
                  I was alone, without my gun, which had landed somewhere off close to victim number two when this guy had slammed me against the wall. I didn’t see one single thing that I could possibly use as a makeshift weapon. And no one knew I was here.
                  When my captor’s eyes came back to mine he knew the truth. He’d figured out I was bluffing and that nothing was standing in his way of doing whatever he wanted with me. As his eyes went over me, I saw that that was going to be quite a lot.
                  He said something to me that sounded part English part Arabic of all things but I got the gist of it even while my mind wondered ideally, why a member of the Red Jihad was speaking Arabic.
                  The guy knew that as an agent I was supposed to be working with someone else but clearly that wasn’t the case here. He knew I was acting alone as a renegade. The bluff was over.
                  I tried hard not to show him any emotion. I was so close to tears that it was hard. My mind went over all the reasons why I was here tonight and realized I’d never know if my brother were truly alive or dead. I’d never know what happened to Judah or my parents.
                  Then I thought about Noah. Dear God, I still loved Noah. I didn’t want to lose him because of my own stubborn pride.
                  I thought about how much my actions had played a part in the strain of our marriage as of late. In fact, if I was being honest, and being this close to death I certainly should be honest at least with myself I’d been the only cause of it.
                  It was then that I started to pray. I prayed that Noah wouldn’t have to find out what had happened to me. I prayed that someone else would be the one to find my body. When I said that word to myself again I realized just how much I wanted to live. I was sick of dealing with death. I didn’t want Noah to have to deal with mine.
                  My attacker said something then that took my breath away and wiped away any hope I had for getting out of here alive away. He told me that he was going to take my life just as he had my parents. I started to cry then because I