Free Shadows Amongst Light (The Spy Who Loves Me) by Mary Eason

What’s happened to change that?”
                  At the hurt in Noah’s voice, I was forced to examine my actions from his viewpoint for once. I didn’t really like the person I saw in Noah‘s eyes.
                  “I’m sorry, you’re right. I guess I’m just restless. It isn’t you, Noah. You have to know that it isn’t you?”
                  “Isn’t it? I’m not so sure anymore. Look, maybe we need to take some time apart. I want to give you the time you need to decide what it is you want from me-- if you want me. Because right now, I’m not so sure that you do. You know I care about you, I’ll always care about you, Cameron. We both know how hard it is to make a relationship work under normal circumstances. With the type of work we do...well.”
                  As I looked into his eyes, I wasn’t seeing the Noah that had been my friend and my lover for so long. I didn’t understand what had happened to us either. Maybe we were no longer the same people we’d once been. Maybe it had all been an illusion. I only knew that I couldn’t fight it anymore. I was restless.
                  “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we shouldn’t have gotten this...involved with each other considering. Well, considering everything. We both knew it would eventually cause problems.”
                  Noah simply nodded and walked to the door before turning back to me. “You know I’ll always be there for you, don’t you Cameron? But maybe you and I need to take a break from each other. If you need to talk you know where to find me.”
                  “Yes, I know.”
                  And I did. But I also knew what Noah wasn’t saying. What I didn’t want to believe. What eventually I would need to accept. We were over.
                  Neither of us wanted to say it. But we both knew the truth. We were both tied to other needs. We had been foolish to expect a romance like ours to work in the first place. We were standing on the edge of goodbye.
     
    CHAPTER FOUR
     
                  Even before I went out that night I knew I was slipping deeper into a place that I had business going. Quite possibly my cover along with my teams had been exposed. I had no business going out on a personal mission on my own. I knew all the risks.
                  But that didn’t stop me.
                  Of course, I knew I had lost focus. I’d forgotten what should be the most important thing in my life right now. My unborn child’s safety and keeping my marriage alive. And then there was the fact that I had a very important job to do. One that quite possibly meant the difference between life and death for thousands of innocent people. Especially if what I’d unraveled in that document were true.
                  I’d let my obsession for finding out the truth about my brother and my parent’s death force me to taking risks.
                  Again tonight, I walked for hours taking the same path that I’d done the night before. I waited and prayed for Judah to appear but he never did.
                  It was well after midnight when my worst possible fears became reality and I found myself face to face with another danger of the night not nearly as charming or accommodating as my stalker from the night before had been.
                  I had a feeling this guy knew exactly who I was. Once again, all of Noah’s warnings went through my mind. Unfortunately, for me that reminder came too late.
                  The second I looked into the guy’s eyes I knew he meant business.
                  I took a step back, reached inside my jacket for my weapon, and then tossed my handbag aside. I wasn’t really afraid of this guy and that surprised me because I probably should have been. I’d run across his kind before and I was