Free Blind Sight by Meg Howrey

pulling the wings off a butterfly, or knocking over a little kid’s ice cream cone, or something deliberately cruel like that. Sometimes you obey it because you know that Nana really needs it, for her own piece of mind, and since she never asks for anything, you feel like, “Okay, whatever.” That’s why I obey it, anyway.
    I’m not sure that Sara was totally clear on how religious Nana had gotten when we all moved in with her. I don’t remember any big discussions about going to Assembly. It was just something that happened. Nana would take us three kids while Sara did other things. Sara is really good at honoring other people’s beliefs, though, and for her rare cameo appearances at Assembly she was always very respectful.
    Nana hoped that we would all experience getting Saved. My sisters and I heard stories of other Brethrens’ Savings. Talking about your moment of Salvation is a big thing in Assembly. Normally the Brethren are a fairly quiet bunch, but they can get excited when talking about their special moment. Once, Mrs. Potts, who was Saved in the parking lot of Linens ’n Things, got so emotional when recounting her tale that she lost her grip on her Bible and it went whipping across the room and smote Mr. Federmeier on the forehead.
    But when I about ten, Sara and Nana had some sort of Discussion, and Sara told Aurora that none of us kids had to go with Nana to Assembly anymore, if we didn’t want to.
    Aurora and Pearl summoned me to a conference in their room to discuss this.
    “Sara says we are old enough to choose,” Aurora began. “And I guess Nana agreed to that. So who’s choosing to go?”
    Pearl passed around contraband Twizzlers and we considered this question.
    “I don’t think we should all stop going at once,” Aurora said. “We might want to work into it gradually, one by one.”
    “Nana is gonna sword us,” is what Pearl said. “How bad do you think it’ll be? The kind where she just doesn’t talk about it, or the kind where she looks at you like you just farted during Grace? Or total silent treatment?” Total silent treatment was the height of swording, and pretty uncomfortable.
    The upshot of the whole discussion was that Aurora would leave first. That way, Pearl and I would have a chance to assess the level of swording and weigh the pros and cons of the whole thing. Pearl and I thought Rory pretty heroic for offering herself like that.
    At that point I wasn’t aware that any of us had any problems with going to Assembly. I didn’t think that going was such a big deal. It wasn’t like anything was expected of us. In some ways it was like going to a meditation session with Sara: you went, you sat, maybe you repeated some chants or prayers, you listened or thought your own thoughts.
    Aurora was the first to really voice philosophical dissent with Christianity, although her objections were more of a style nature: she simply preferred the kinds of things Sara would read to us. So the virgin Mary was visited by an angel and ended up pregnant? So what? A similar sort of thing happens in the Mahabharata, only in a much more exciting way. The mortal Kunti is practicing her mantra and then the God Lord Surya appears and the next day Kunti bears his son, who is born wearing earrings and golden armor.
    The swording of Aurora was not terrible. On the next Sunday, Sara and Rory were out of the house early and away for most of theday. Pearl and I went with Nana to Assembly as usual. When one of the New Brethren asked Nana where Aurora was, Nana replied, “Aurora will be spending some time with her mother for awhile.” The way Nana said it, it sounded like some sort of grave punishment was being enacted, and no more questions were asked. Later that night, at dinner, Nana did not speak to Aurora. We were all a little nervous about this, but the next morning Nana was her usual self, and treated Rory just like normal.
    Pearl stopped going to Assembly once she got to high school, but I think