Free Holding On by Rachael Brownell

generally know what the other is thinking.
    Thursday after school, I dialed their house without hesitation. I had spoken to Ella once since I left, and Emma had pretty much been unavailable. She had started dating a new guy that I didn’t know and was never home anymore, according to Ella. I was surprised when she answered after the first ring.
    “Becca!” Emma screamed. The excitement in her voice surprised me. I was closer to Ella, and I thought that Emma sometimes got jealous.
    “Hey, Emma. How are you?”
    “I’m good. How are you? How’s the new school?” She was going a mile a minute.
    “Everything is fine.” I paused to take a deep breath. Should I ask for Ella, or should I just talk to Emma? They seemed like the same person sometimes, so what did it really matter? “Do you have a few minutes? I’m kind of having a minor crisis, and I need some good advice.”
    “Sure. What’s going on?”
    “Well, I have to work out some things with Brad, and I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know what to do at all or even where to begin…” I let my voice trail off. Everyone knew that Brad and I were just friends, but the only person I had told about the kiss was Emma.
    “Is this about what happened before you left? If it is, then I don’t really know what to tell you.”
    Great! No advice available. “Just answer me this. Do you think that I should give us a try?”
    “No.” She said it quickly and without hesitation.
    “Oh, okay. Do you have a reason? Is there something going on that I don’t know about?”
    “No. I just think that it’s time for you both to move on. I see the way he is right now, sad look on his face all the time, pining away for you to be here. If you give him even the slightest glimpse of hope that there can be something, then it will be even worse for both of you if it doesn’t work out. You guys can’t do this from far away. If you had started something before you left, you could have continued it, but you can’t start something with the distance. You don’t want to ruin your friendship, do you?”
    She was making sense. She basically stated all the thoughts that I was having myself. If we had started something before I left, then we could try to continue it now, but we didn’t. Plus, the last thing I want was to ruin our friendship. He was my rock. He was my lifeline most days. We’d been through too much to risk losing all of that.
    “No, I don’t want to lose his friendship.” I let out a sigh before continuing. What did I have left to say? I summed it up in one sentence, but I knew that there was more. If I didn’t get it off my chest, then it wouldn’t be real. “Can you do me a favor, Em?”
    “Anything. What do you need?” Emma asked.
    “I need for you to find him someone, anyone. Encourage him to get involved with someone. Get him back together with Claire if that’s what it takes. I’m not even sure if they are officially broken up at this point. There are plenty of people who would go out with him. Help him see the light.”
    My light was shining through right now. I was going to do the same thing. I was going to move on, heal my broken heart, and find someone who makes me happy and lives less than two thousand miles away.
    “I can try,” she stated. I heard the hesitance in her voice. “Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure this is the right decision to make?”
    “Yes.”
    “I wasn’t trying to break up your friendship. I was just making you realize the reality of the situation.”
    “I know, and you did. Thank you.”
     

     
    As my last class approached on Friday afternoon, I decided that I was going to break free of the shell I had encased myself in my first week of school. I walked in a few minutes before the bell rang and sat in the same seat I had been all week. Instead of opening my physics textbook and staring at the pages to try and remain invisible, I turned to the pretty brunette who was sitting behind me and tried to