Free Fixed in Fear by T. E. Woods

carried on. Carlton and I leaned on each other.”
    “It’s my understanding there was no trial,” Willers said.
    Larry nodded. “In the end Kamm confessed. He waived his right to trial and was sentenced to life in prison. After seventeen years he had his first parole hearing. Abraham, Carlton, and I went. We heard how Kamm had turned his life around. No more drugs. No problems with the staff or fellow inmates. He’d even earned a college certificate in computer animation.” Larry’s voice flattened as he looked Chief Willers in the eye. “I don’t know how much you know about my work, but I’ve devoted my entire career to the study of the human condition. I know in the roots of my soul that compassion and forgiveness and love are the tools we need to thrive. They’re our only hope. But sitting there, in that hearing room, I felt no compassion for the man who’d battered my wife’s skull in with a rock. There was no love. I had no forgiveness.” He lowered his gaze. “Perhaps that’s why Kenny Kamm’s life intersected with mine. To teach me the difficulty of the concepts I expound. My only wish is that it hadn’t been necessary for Helen to pay the price for my lesson.”
    “He wasn’t paroled,” Chief Willers said.
    “No. Abraham was the only one who spoke at the hearing. His words were as strong as the man himself. Kamm had another hearing just last year. Again, the three of us went.” Larry swallowed hard. “I saw Kamm differently. He’s a man living like an animal. Caged and chained. I won’t say I felt true compassion, but I did come to realize that my rancor toward him did nothing to honor Helen. Carlton and I had dinner after the hearing. He felt the same way. Perhaps we were both finding a path to healing.”
    “His request for parole was denied again,” Chief Willers said.
    A wry smile crossed Larry’s face. “Obviously I’ve done a poor job giving you an accurate portrait of Abraham Smydon. He isn’t a man who strives to forgive. His speech at the hearing left no room for compassion. As long as Abraham is alive he’ll make every one of Kamm’s parole hearings. And he’ll do his best to make sure the man stays locked up till his dying breath.”
    “After what Kamm did to your wife, sounds like Abraham has the right idea,” Willers remarked.
    Larry rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know, Chief. After all my research…all my writings…all those damned awards people seem hell-bent on throwing at me…I think I only know one thing. And that’s that I know nothing about anything.”
    —
    Mort and Larry were quiet on the hour drive back to Seattle. Larry was freshly grieving Carlton’s death and Mort knew the emotions dredged up in the interview had exhausted his already vulnerable friend. Chief Willers had recognized it as well. She’d thanked Larry for his cooperation, promised she would have more questions, and urged him to go home and take some time to recover from the strains of the day. Larry assured her he’d make himself available at any time. It was just after five o’clock when Mort pulled his Subaru next to Larry’s Lexus in the parking lot of the Seattle Police Department’s headquarters.
    “What d’ya say we head to the Crystal and have Mauser pour us a Guinness?” he suggested. “Or maybe you’d prefer a deck chair on my boat?”
    Larry reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. “Another time. I feel the need for solitude, if you don’t mind. Go back to your houseboat, Mort. Watch the sunset. Think of all those who can’t see its majesty, and be grateful you can.”
    Mort watched his friend drive away. He thought about the budget reports and personnel reviews waiting for him upstairs. He pulled out his cellphone and called Jimmy DeVilla, who assured him there was nothing pressing.
    “I’m telling you, Mort. It’s the weather. Folks are behaving themselves. Micki and I are already down at the Crystal. Want me to have Mauser get a pint