Free The Life and Times of Benny Alvarez by Peter Johnson

and he says if things get bad to buy him a good box of cigars, then strand him in the middle of the ocean on a little rowboat.”
    â€œThat’s pretty harsh,” Jocko says.
    â€œNot really,” I say. “He’s smoking his favorite cigar, watching a great sunset. It’s better than rotting away in a hospital.”
    â€œOnly you could see it that way,” Jocko says.
    â€œWell, how would you see it?” I ask, a bit annoyed.
    â€œI’d want to be surrounded by my family. The other way seems kind of selfish.”
    â€œSelfish?” Beanie says, obviously mad that Jocko is calling his pops selfish. Then he tells Jocko he’s been acting a little weird lately, kind of touchy-feely, butting in when it’s none of his business.
    â€œWeird? Touchy-feely?”
    â€œYeah, you’re talking like an adult.”
    â€œThat’s a whack idea.”
    â€œHe’s kind of right,” I say.
    Jocko’s shaking his head, and as I said, he’s very big and very strong, so we don’t want to get him mad.
    â€œMaybe ‘adult’ wasn’t the right word,” I say, as if Beanie had called him a wood louse or a maggot.
    â€œIf Beanie says ‘adult,’ then it’s ‘adult.’ Beanie always uses the right word.”
    â€œWhat I’m saying,” Beanie adds, “is that lately, you’ve been overly kind to everyone.”
    â€œOverly kind?”
    â€œYeah, like understanding.”
    I guess it’s a good thing to be called kind and understanding, but Jocko isn’t very happy, so I come to Beanie’s aid.
    â€œHe has a point, dude. Do you remember what you said when Big Joe tripped Joey Pappas at recess? You said, ‘You have to wonder what’s going on at Big Joe’s house for him to do that.’”
    â€œWhat’s wrong with that?”
    â€œThe old Jocko would’ve said, ‘That guy needs a good beat down.’ The old Jocko wouldn’t have been thinking about Big Joe’s home life. Big Joe’s an idiot. It’s pretty simple.”
    â€œYou guys are whacked,” Jocko says.
    I’m angry now, so I decide to give him both barrels. “If I ask you one more thing, you promise not to get mad?”
    He’s looking a little nervous.
    â€œAre you going out with Becky?”
    â€œGoing out?”
    â€œTwice last week you said you couldn’t shoot hoops. One day you said you had too much homework. The second day you had extra soccer practice.”
    â€œI did.”
    Now I have him. “One of those days Beanie saw you at the toy store with Becky; the other, I saw you and Becky riding bikes.”
    â€œI didn’t want to deal with your garbage. We’re just friends, so what am I supposed to do, ask you two to come along?”
    â€œI’m not criticizing,” I say.
    Jocko smirks. “Yeah, right. You know, Benny, I’ve been waiting to use a word for a while, and now it fits. I really find you beleaguering , and I’m not even going to make you guys guess, because I checked its origins. It’s worse than being annoyed or irritated. It has to do with being in an actual exhausting battle with someone, and after spending ten minutes with your negative attitude, I feel like someone kicked me in the privates. I almost sympathize with Claudine.”
    â€œOuch!” Beanie says.
    â€œIt’s true, man. You act like you don’t know why that girl dislikes you.”
    â€œBut I do,” I say, and I go through the Samuel Morse story.
    â€œYeah, yeah, I’ve heard that one and normally let it slide, but it wasn’t fifth grade, dude, it was last year. We were reading some novel about a girl in Tennessee whose father left her, so she ran away and lived in the woods with her dog. If you remember, Claudine stood up for her, and then you got diarrhea of the mouth and ripped into the girl in the book, saying she was a loser and that her