Free Little Boy Blues by Mary Jane Maffini Page A

years, I doubted Ma Ferguson was at all glad. But apparently, the entire Ferguson family had the same ability to withstand facts as Alvin did.
    Vince laid down the law. “And it will be good for Allie.”
    I hadn’t thought that things being good for Alvin would even interest Vince. “I wouldn’t be so sure. We’re not always on the same wavelength. But it would be good for him to have Mrs. Parnell here. She has a way with him.”
    Mrs. Parnell chose that moment to teeter into the kitchen. She flashed me a poisonous look. Perhaps because she was passing right under a prominent No Smoking sign. Alvin loped behind her.
    “Thank you very much, young man,” she said to Vince in tones reminiscent of McArthur in his finest hour. “But I wouldn’t think of being a burden.”
    “You would not be a burden,” Vince said.
    “No, you wouldn’t,” said Tracy. “We’d love to have you here.”
    “We won’t hear of you going elsewhere,” Frances Ann said.
    I thought smoke would pour out Mrs. Parnell’s ears, but Alvin spoke up. “Violet can’t handle the stairs here. She’d be better off next door with Loretta and Donald Donnie. You’ll like them, Violet. The three of you can sit up all night and smoke like forest fires.”
    “Really?” said Mrs. Parnell. “That sounds most satisfactory.”
    “Loretta and Donald Donnie? Ma won’t like that.” Tracy said.
    “Have you lost your mind, Allie?” Frances Ann slapped a dish towel on the counter.
    “I told you so,” Vince said.
    I was proud of Alvin. He paid no attention. “And they have a spare bed on the main floor, so you won’t have stairs, Violet.”
    Mrs. Parnell smiled fondly at Alvin.
    “Plus, they keep the liquor cabinet full,” Alvin said.
    “You’re always so thoughtful, dear boy.”
    “Let’s go, Violet. I’ll introduce you.”
    “Wait a minute. They’re
my
relatives.” I wanted to scream “Don’t leave me here with these people.” But the door had already slammed behind them as they thumped down the front steps. At the bottom, Alvin paused briefly to flick Mrs. P.’s lighter for her.
    I watched them head next door, Mrs. Parnell lurching with her two canes and Alvin loping his lope. Only the set of Alvin’s shoulders gave a clue that things were not as they should be.
    “See what I mean?” Vince said to Frances Ann.
    “Typical,” she said.
    I’d had enough. “Well, that’s great. I’m glad Mrs. Parnell will be among like-minded people. I’ll head over too.”
    “No.” Mrs. Ferguson had a tightness around the mouth which I assumed resulted from the Donald Donnie and Loretta switcheroo. “You will stay here. No one can say Fergusons don’t do the right thing.”
    I tried one last tactic. “Do you have enough room?”
    “Seven kids grew up here. Only Vince and me now. And Jimmy, of course. You can take your choice of places to sleep.”
    I know when I’m beaten.
    Tracy chirped. “Take my old room. It has the best bed.”
    I caved. I needed a bath and a snooze so badly at that point, I would have stepped cheerfully into the grizzly section of the zoo, which was a pretty good comparison. But I couldn’t see myself relaxing until I had a few answers. Creature comforts would have to wait. I knew where the answers would be.

Nine
    Somehow after the tensions at the Château Ferguson, a wall of second-hand smoke would be a small price to pay to relax. Loretta and Donald Donnie didn’t have a swarm of family photos on every wall. But then they’d never had children, or even pets, and they were no beauties themselves. They were somewhere in the gray zone between seventy-five and eighty. Loretta had a few too many teeth and red hair that would be startling on a twenty-year old. It had a surprising tendency to rise straight up. Donald Donnie didn’t have any hair but kept his scalp nicely polished. They seemed to favour
TV Guide
over the current Giller winners and things that came out of packages instead of out of ovens. They sure