Free Little Boy Blues by Mary Jane Maffini

It’s good that’s he’s back here where you can all support each other,” I said to Vince.
    Vince stared at his feet. Tracy bit her lip.
    “It’s the worst thing that could have happened,” Vince said.
    “I know it’s awful, and Alvin’s in rough shape, but he can help in the search. He’s very talented that way,” I said. “And we can help too.”
    “Having Allie back is a disaster,” Vince said. “The only thing you could do to help is to keep him out of the way so the rest of us can get something done.”
    “What?” I’m lucky I didn’t bruise my jaw when it dropped.
    Vince curled his lip.
    Tracy said, “Well, it wasn’t a good idea to bring Allie home. He’s never been too, what would you say, Vince, sensible?”
    “Stable,” Vince said. “Or intelligent.”
    Tracy’s hands kept moving. From her hair to her T-shirt to the chair and back to her hair. Sometimes they hovered like moths. “He’s especially unstable when it comes to Jimmy. He’ll flip out. He’ll get Ma in a state. Since you insisted on bringing him back without consulting us, now we have to deal with it.”
    When I got my breath back I said, “What do you mean since I insisted on bringing him back?”
    Vince cut me off. “You called from Ottawa to say you were bringing him home, you hung up, you called again from ten miles out of town and then you showed up with him. What do you call that if not bringing him back?”
    “But he wanted to come home. Have you ever tried to stop Alvin from doing something he wanted to do?”
    “Even so,” Tracy said, adjusting her flower earrings. “It’s the worst thing in the world for him.”
    “It’s an unmitigated disaster,” Vince said. “He’ll go right over the edge when we need to keep our minds on Jimmy.”
    “Hang on a minute. Let’s see if I understand. You called me and insisted that I find Alvin and tell him what had happened. I did that, and now it’s a disaster,.” I said.
    “Well, we had to let him know. But he always flips out if it’s something with Jimmy, and that’s a problem for everyone,” Tracy said.
    “Alvin has always been level-headed in his own peculiar way, right up until he heard Jimmy was missing. Mrs. Parnell and I think he’s been traumatized in some way. Sorry it’s not convenient for you to hear this. But you have not one but two younger brothers, and since you know Alvin goes over the edge, I have to ask if you ever got psychological help for him.”
    “Bullshit,” Vince said. “He can get his act together like anybody else. We’re run off our feet looking for Jimmy, and wedon’t need to be babysitting him.”
    Whatever that turkey did his doctorate in, I figured it wasn’t psychology.
    Mrs. Parnell loomed into the doorway and cleared her throat. She gave me a look that said I told you so. By now, I’d figured she was right on the money. This whacko family had to be the source of Alvin’s problems.
    • • •
    Even though they couldn’t stand me, I could not be allowed to go to a hotel. Or a B & B. Or a guesthouse. Even if space had been available. No sir. You come to Sydney with a Ferguson, no matter how inconsiderate your visit, no matter how inappropriate your behaviour, no matter how unwelcome your presence, you will be staying in the Ferguson home. Black fog of resentment or not. They made that clear.
    I blanched as this sank in. What if I ended up with Frances Ann and all those kids? Or one of the others who kept coming and going but whose names I couldn’t even remember. Tracy had a small apartment somewhere on George Street. But Tracy’s place was already full of volunteer searchers.
    “Of course, you have to stay here with Ma and Alvin.”
    I said, “You have enough on your plate with everything that’s going on.”
    “Don’t be silly,” Frances Ann said. “Ma is glad to have you. Especially with Allie here.”
    Considering the number of times I’d refused collect calls from her in the course of the past two