Free The Promises We Keep (Made for Love Book 1) by R.C. Martin

falls against my chest as I stare up at him in shock. He chuckles before he continues.
    “ I guess drop out is a bit of an exaggeration but, after freshman year of my undergrad studies, I took some time off. I didn ’ t know what I wanted to do and it felt like such a waste of time and money to be in school. So for two years I worked and I played and I tried to figure out what the heck I wanted to do with my life.
    “ I knew that I wanted to be a doctor before I knew that I wanted to be an anesthesiologist; I hadn ’ t decided on that until I went to medical school — but the point is, I needed some time away from the pressure of school and my parents and the expectation that I needed to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. There was never any doubt in my mind that I wanted to go to school. I knew I was smart and I was cocky and confident enough to know that I could do anything I wanted. But at nineteen years old, I wasn ’ t ready for school. I went my freshman year because that ’ s what everyone else expected of me. I went back on my terms, when I was ready. ”
    “ Wow. Okay, ” I manage, surprised that I never knew this about my dad. “ But what does this have to do with Addie and me? ”
    “ Maybe you could use a break, too. ”
    “ Excuse me? ” I mutter lamely, sure that I ’ ve misunderstood.
    “ You and Addie — maybe you could take some time apart. It might be easier for you to figure things out without the pressure of your relationship. ”
    I cough out a laugh, not because I ’ m amused in the slightest, but because his suggestion is ridiculous. “ You ’ re kidding, right? Break up? ”
    “ I ’ m not kidding, Beck. There ’ s a reason that the idea of getting married makes you anxious and not happy or filled with peace. That ’ s something that needs to be addressed. Believe me when I say, it ’ s easier to focus on you when you ’ re not worried about your relationship or about Addison. ”
    “ Dad — no way! I can ’ t break up with her! Do you know what that would do to her? If I proposed today she would say yes, and you ’ re suggesting I break up with her? ” I laugh again, because it ’ s just too much for me to even conceptualize.
    “ Don ’ t you see, son? If you proposed today, as you say, she would say yes. But what if she proposed to you? It sounds like you are not ready to say yes — not because you don ’ t love her. Your feelings are not in question. If you ’ re not ready to be married, it would be in the best interest of both of you if you took some time to work on yourself.
    “ In the Bible, Paul talks about husbands and wives and how they ought to love each other; he says that husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies — he who loves his wife loves himself. If you don ’ t know how to love yourself, or how to take care of yourself, you ’ re not ready to take care of her. It ’ s okay if you need to spend some time figuring that out. ”
    For a moment, I ’ m speechless. I ’ m speechless and afraid — and what scares me is that the thought of being apart doesn ’ t seem entirely unattractive. In fact, it kind of makes sense in a way that I can ’ t really articulate … except for the part that this would break her heart.
    “ Dad, ” I struggle to find my words. “ I could lose her this way. I can ’ t lose her. I can ’ t. ”
    “ You could possibly lose yourself if you don ’ t, in which case, you would lose her, too. ”
    Suddenly, it ’ s hard to breathe. “ Dad …” His name comes out barely above a whisper. My voice is lost as a knot clogs my throat and tears fill my eyes. If I didn ’ t feel so small in this moment, I ’ d be mad that I was crying, but there is no room for that anger. “ I don ’ t know what to do. I don ’ t know that I could do that — be apart from her, risk losing her. ”
    “ Beckham, ” he murmurs, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder once more. “ She loves you. If you