Free Scars of the Present by Kay Gordon

the door and we stepped inside the dark living room. I stopped only to lock the door behind us and continued on to my bedroom.  Unlike the last time he had been in my bedroom, our movements were slow and deliberate.
    I kicked my shoes off into the closet and dropped my wristlet onto the dresser. I reluctantly shrugged out of his warm jacket and hung it on the back of my desk chair.
    David glanced around, making sure to look at the random pictures and trinkets I had around the room. I stood in the doorway to the bathroom, pulling my earrings out of my ears and let him continue his exploration. He stopped in front of a picture me at the beach, probably when I was about two years old, and dad’s arms were around me from behind as he carried me into the waves. Both of us had huge smiles on our faces, and I wished more than anything I remembered that day. Carol had given me the picture for Christmas after I had moved out and she insisted that I didn’t give up on my misunderstood parents.
    “You were pretty cute here,” David said, pointing at the picture.
    “What do you mean ‘were’? I think I’m still pretty damned cute.” I fought the urge to move towards him and managed to stay still in the doorway.
    “Oh Tink, you’re not cute. Or adorable. Or sweet.” He closed the distance between us slowly as he spoke. “You’re fierce. And captivating. And extremely sexy.” On the last word he ducked down and caught my lips with his own, his hands coming to rest of my cheeks. I grabbed him by his vest and pulled him closer to me.
    He backed up until he was at the bed and he sat on the edge, bringing me down so I was in his lap.
    “You’re also short. Did I mention that?” He grinned against my mouth and I lightly bit his lip.
    “Be nice, detective.”
    “Or what? You’ll kick me out in my bare feet again?” David’s voice had a lightness to it, but I could tell he was partially serious.
    “I’m really sorry about that.” I took a deep breath and ran my hand through his hair. “I overreacted and I think for more than one reason. I remember lying draped across your chest and thinking that being with you was amazing, and not just sexually. The whole night had been so much fun and I panicked. I stopped letting people get close to me a long time ago and, for the first time, I considered what it might be like if I did. The phone call gave me the perfect out.”
    David leaned forward and gave me a sweet kiss before reaching back to slowly unzip my dress.
    “Stop thinking so much and just live, Sydney. Just let me worship you tonight and we’ll figure everything else out as we go.” He pulled my dress down to my waist and moved his hands to my bare breasts, tenderly tracing my nipples with his fingers.
    “I think about our night together all of the time,” he said as he moved his lips to my neck. “I dream about it.”
    I held onto his shoulders for support as I let my head fall back with my eyes closed. “Me too. You ruined me for everyone else.”
    “Good.” He turned us so that I was lying on my back, my legs dangling off the bed. “I know you, Tink, and I know that you use sex to keep yourself connected and distant all at once. I want sex between us to be more than that for you.”
    He gripped my dress, sliding it over my hips and down my legs until I was in nothing but my white, lace panties. Hooking his fingers in the band of my underwear, he dragged them down too.
    “And, if we’re going to be having sex, Sydney, you’re not going to be having sex with anyone else. That includes random strangers or best friend’s brothers.” He moved to the floor as he talked and parted my legs gently so he was kneeling between them. His fingertips traced the insides of my thighs lightly and I grabbed fistfuls of the sheet from above my head.
    Suddenly his fingers stopped moved, and after a moment I opened my eyes to look at him, confused.
    “Do you understand me?” Determination lined David’s face as he