Free Black Desire by Karyn Gerrard

he was in love with her. The ache that
wracked his body and squeezed his heart was the proof. He didn't crush himself
against her, just lovingly caressed her lips. Finally he stepped back.
    "Because
Katrina, I had not felt that , wanted
to kiss a woman like that , since
Georgiana died, all those decades ago. You are my soul."
    She pushed at his
chest, the tears falling faster now. "I can't listen to any more, let me
pass, please!"
    He spoke the truth.
He was not an animal, not really. Deep down lurked a gentleman at heart and he
would not keep her here against her will. This was all too soon. Perhaps this
discussion should have waited. But the heart knows. Deep down in the depths of
his weary soul, he knew he was a shameless romantic. As hardened and cynical as
he claimed he was, as black and wizened as his heart and desire had become, he
longed to find love again. He took her hands and lifted her tight fists to his
lips. He kissed the whitened knuckles gently.
    "Do not dismiss
me, Katrina, or what we share."
    She struggled to snatch
her hands away, so he let them go.
    "All we have is
hot sex, Tristan. We don't know each other!"
    "Something I
wish most fervently to rectify."
    She looked up into
his eyes. "The way you speak—you are not lying about any of this, are
you?"
    "No. I am not.
Why not sit back down? You must have questions. Stay. All night, if you
wish."
    She was shaking her
head. "No, I can't, I need…to think. I don't know how you can be so sure
about me. What if you're wrong about us? I'm so damned confused."
    He ached to touch her
and pull her into his embrace to comfort and protect her. He didn't dare. She
was teetering on the edge of the precipice. One wrong move from him and she
would run away, no doubt forever. It explained why just about everyone in the Clan
wasn't in a long-term relationship at the moment. He stepped back.
    "Take all the
time you wish, Katrina, but look into your heart. Deep down, you know. It is
not just hot sex. You know this."
    She lifted a hand and
swiped at a wayward tear. She didn't speak, just turned and walked out the
front door. He followed and closed the door behind her. He stood with his hand
against the door. With his head down, he stayed there long after he heard her
car squeal out of his driveway.
    The sun was starting
to set. Tristan flung open the front door and headed toward the back of his
property. He glanced at the small cottage that sat on the border of his land
and his father's. Brennan lived there, his father's man. Brennan took care of
both properties and any other business required by Deegan. He had been with his
father since the 1720's and served on his father's ship, The Celtic Gale . In reward for his loyal service Deegan gifted the
man with immortality and turned him into a Vampire at his behest. Tristan
opened the gate and strode toward the private cemetery down by the water.
Brennan also tended to the cemetery, keeping it well manicured and well
appointed. Tristan glanced at the older stones. There were a few of his
father's human mates from centuries long past. Fresh flowers adorned every
tombstone. He wasn't sure if that was Brennan's doing or if his father ever
came here to pay his respects to his lost loves.
    Tristan stopped in
front of the large, sandstone obelisk with gothic etchings.
    Georgiana Catherine Black. Beloved wife and mother. 1855-1939.
    Tristan didn't dare
put his name or Lucius's on the stone. Even though the cemetery was private,
someone could find the stone and make the connection.
    He exhaled. It still
was an open wound, this wretched loss. He did not want to fill this family
cemetery with dead lovers or mates of his own. Maybe his father could do it but
he could not. He clenched his fist in frustration. He did not want to
feel…anything. The last few years of Georgiana's life he’d stayed faithful to
her, devoted, loyal and constant.
    But since her death
he was like a starving man. He took many a trip into the city to slake his