Free Illicit Canvas: political romance and stand alone romance by Joanna Mazurkiewicz Page A

looks at you, Arwen. He hasn't been serious about any other girl before. You’re the first," I say with a heavy heart.
    "It doesn't matter. He will understand. I can't be with him knowing that he's your son. I get why you want to be friends and I respect that, but I still need your help with finding that painting, although I will understand if you say no."
    I turn around then to face her and I know that this is going to be the hardest thing I have to do, but her angelic face is like a dream and I want to be close to her even if we can only be friends.
    "I'll help you; there is no doubt about that, but Colin mustn’t know about any of it. I have an important job and if the press finds out that I'm dating my son's girlfriend, the careers of many people could be put into jeopardy. I can’t risk it, despite how we both are feeling about this.”
    There are tears in her eyes and I hate seeing her hurt. My chance for happiness is right there in front of me, but it’s slipping away. Arwen might be young, but we understand each other and our connection is stronger than it has ever been with anyone else.
    "Oh, Ethan, I wish that I had never met Colin. I wish this didn’t have to be so difficult," she says and then I have to bring her to me, to feel her skin against mine.
    "I promise that I will help you find that painting, but maybe you should think about your decision. Colin won't understand and he cares too much for you."
    "More than you do?"
    I exhale sharply, trying to cool down. I have to stop thinking about her like someone that I desire. She is just my son’s friend, a girl that has to find her father.
    "It doesn't matter what I feel, Arwen. It's done. From now on we will see each other purely on friendly terms."
    "All right. I'm sorry. I know that it's only been a few days, but I don't want to lose you, Ethan."
    "Don't worry, Arwen, you won't."
    And then she smiles, nods, and leaves the car. She doesn't look back when she is walks up to her building. I tighten my grip on the steering wheel and wonder if I’m ever going to get over her. It's not love, I can't fool myself, but I have never felt anything like this towards anyone.
    When I finally drive away I know that I have to concentrate on my career. I will sort my affairs in the office and then hand in my notice.
    Arwen planted an idea in my head. I know enough about art to open a gallery or a studio and once again take pleasure in my own work. I have savings, so that should tide me over until I start making a decent income. Colin will never find out that I'm helping her. From now on my life is going to be all about my new project and finding Arwen's father. My own feelings and desires can go to hell.

Arwen
     
    I feel like I am walking on thin ice and at any moment it will break, dragging me down into dark cold water. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. This can't be happening to me. Ethan isn’t really related to Colin. It's just one big fat joke, a prank that someone is playing on me. I walk back into my room and throw myself on the bed.
    Raw emotion mounts inside me, and the sadness won’t go away. The date with Ethan was incredible and I wanted and needed more. When I saw him at the door I thought that Colin simply mixed up the floors, that Ethan couldn’t be his father, but then it all started to sink in. He was shocked, too, but he kept cool throughout the whole dinner.
    He probably hated me then and God knows what was going through his head. We were kissing only a day before and now we can't even look at each other.
    "Hey, Arwen, are you in?"
    I quickly wipe the tears away, but it's going to be really hard to hide my swollen eyes.
    "Hey, what's the matter?"
    Maja is beside me and I burst into tears, feeling so down.
    "Ethan is Colin's father. We went to his father’s apartment and Ethan opened the door."
    Maja doesn't understand and stares at me like I'm talking in Chinese. Her eyes widen after a moment.
    "Ethan ... The guy from the gallery? He is Colin's