Free A Comedian Dies by Simon Brett

fittings’. Used to be known as ‘key money’. Illegal, but pretty common, particularly since the Rent Act. It was on the subject of this practice that the landlord became downright abusive.’
    â€˜Hmm. So Janine’s trail has gone cold?’
    â€˜Yes, Charles. For the time being, she’s disappeared.’
    â€˜Right.’
    â€˜Which must surely lend support to your theory that she killed Peaky.’
    â€˜Yes. Except, since the inquest raised no suspicion of foul play and she doesn’t know that anyone disbelieves its findings, why does she need to disappear?’
    â€˜See your point. What else could it mean, though?’
    â€˜Well . . . if someone else murdered Peaky and she found out, then she might know too much and . . . I don’t know, it’s only conjecture, but the timing does seem odd. There must be some connection between Peaky’s death and her disappearance.’
    â€˜Sure thing, buster.’
    â€˜The main priority is still to find her. And to get as much background on the case as possible. I’ll pump Lennie Barber some more.’
    â€˜Oh yes, of course, the show’s tomorrow. How was the rehearsal?’
    â€˜I don’t really know. It’s more like army drill than rehearsal. Barber gives me my timing by numbers. “I say my line, you give it a count of two, then you come in. In the middle of the speech a count of four and at the end of the line give three before you move your head.” I think a computer could be programmed to do it instead of me. And probably better.’
    â€˜Is the material funny?’
    â€˜God knows. It seems pretty corny to me, but then I’m not an expert on comedy script. Also rehearsing it this way would take the humour out of anything. See how the audience reacts tomorrow night.’
    â€˜I’ll be out front rooting for you, baby. And, incidentally, anything else I can do for you on the investigation front, just let me know.’
    The Alexander Harvey Show
was pre-recorded some four hours before its late-night Saturday transmission, so that any major technical cock-ups or offences against public decency could be edited out. Like most chat shows, it kept its guests in a well-stocked hospitality room until such time as they were fed out like gladiators into the arena with Alexander Harvey. The theory was that a drink would relax the guest into his most sparkling form. The danger was that the guests could become relaxed to the point of incoherence and occasionally even fall off their swivel chairs.
    Charles was beginning to fear that this might be the case with Lennie Barber. The comedian had appropriated a whole bottle of whisky from the rather dishy researcher who was looking after them, and was working through it as if it were lemonade. Charles, who himself had a modest proficiency with a whisky bottle, was amazed at the speed with which it was going down. He was stinting himself for fear of forgetting the elaborate system of acting by numbers which he had just learned, but Lennie Barber seemed to be affected by no such inhibitions.
    â€˜Bloody awful medium, television,’ the comedian mumbled disconsolately. ‘No atmosphere, you do everything a dozen times, keep stopping and starting. You can’t see the bloody audience and they can’t see you, for all the cameras and sound booms and bloody people. So many people around, just hanging around. Looks as if they’re gathering for a lynching.’
    â€˜Didn’t you like it when you did the old
Barber and Pole Shows
?’
    â€˜It was different then. Less sophisticated. Less bloody cameras. You just did your act. Now it’s all arty-farty. Still, you got to do it. Never turn up a telly. That’s what people watch these days. Got to be seen if you’re going to make it.’
    â€˜Yes, and of course that’s where the money is,’ Charles contributed knowledgeably.
    â€˜Not the real money. Sure,