Free A Fairly Honourable Defeat by Iris Murdoch

silence. Hilda turned to follow his look. A figure had emerged from the drawing room and was standing regarding them across the pool. It was Morgan.
    Hilda began to struggle to her feet.
    ‘Morgan!’ cried Simon, simultaneously with Hilda’s cry.
    Morgan was wearing a light grey mackintosh and carrying a blue canvas travelling bag which she now slowly put down at her feet. She stared rather blankly across the pool.
    Hilda reached her and uttering a low ‘ooh!’ threw her arms round her sister’s neck. She drew Morgan against her and pressed her cheek against Morgan’s, closing her eyes. ‘Oh thank God you’ve come home—’
    Morgan remained completely stiff, then jerked her head away. With a firm pressure of the hand she terminated Hilda’s embrace.
    ‘You’ve got a swimming pool.’
    ‘Yes, it’s new.’ Tears flooded into Hilda’s eyes.
    ‘Morgan— darling, ’ said Simon. He took hold of her hand which was hanging limply by her side. He seemed about to kiss her cheek but kissed her hand instead. He kissed it several times.
    ‘My dear,’ said Rupert. ‘Welcome.’ He took hold of Morgan’s other hand and pressed it.
    ‘Hello, Morgan,’ said Axel. He was fingering the lapel of his jacket.
    Morgan drew her hands away. She looked round at them all with vague eyes. She wore oval steel-rimmed spectacles which she now removed and began to clean with a rather dirty handkerchief.
    ‘Let me give you some champagne,’ cried Simon. ‘Don’t bother, Hilda, she can have my glass.’
    Morgan put the spectacles on again, still standing rather stiffly and frowning against the sun. She looked at the champagne, the flowers. ‘Something’s going on. It’s someone’s birthday—’
    ‘Our wedding anniversary, darling.’
    ‘I didn’t expect—a lot of people—a party—’
    ‘It’s only us, Morgan,’ said Simon. ‘Here.’
    ‘No, thank you, Simon. I don’t want any champagne. I think I’ll take this coat—off.’ She twitched her shoulders and the grey mackintosh fell to the ground. Simon hastened to pick it up.
    Hilda, the sudden tears abating, gazed at her sister. Morgan was wearing a very brief very crumpled blue cotton dress. Her straight dark hair was cut boyishly but not very short. Narrow brown eyes and long nervous nose. Her face was bony gaunt and tired. Her figure long-legged and slim. In a sudden quick vision Hilda understood. They had reached an age where the years told. How that gaunt thin look became her. Even the tiredness was a grace. Even the steel-rimmed spectacles were an adornment. Morgan was the handsome one now. ‘Oh my heart!’ said Hilda. She hugged her sister for a moment about the shoulders.
    ‘We weren’t expecting you for another ten days,’ said Rupert. ‘Look, won’t you sit down?’
    ‘No, thanks. I know. I decided to fly after all and let the luggage follow. I’ve just come now straight from the airport. Once I decided to come it was agony to stay another hour.’
    ‘I can imagine that,’ said Hilda. ‘Thank God you have come, my darling. I was terrified you’d change your mind.’
    ‘Morgan, I do wish you’d have a drink,’ said Simon. ‘It would do you good. Let me get you some whisky.’
    ‘I hope you’re going to stay with us a good long time,’ said Hilda. ‘You’re not just going on somewhere else, are you? What are your plans?’
    ‘I don’t know what I’m doing,’ said Morgan. ‘I don’t know where I’m going. I have no plans. I have no intentions. I have no thoughts. I have just got off a jet plane and I feel crazy.’ She turned round towards the drawing room.
    ‘Of course, of course!’ cried Hilda. ‘Come upstairs this minute, you poor sweet. The spare room is all ready. You must rest at once. Rupert, carry her bag, would you. Give me the coat, Simon. Come along, my own darling girl, home at last.’

CHAPTER FOUR
     
    ‘WHICH ROOM AM I IN?’
    ‘Here—’
    Hilda pushed open the door and Morgan went in followed by her sister