Free Perfect Princess by Meg Cabot

I.
    A Note from
Her Royal Highness Princess Mia
    Grandmère says the only way we as a society can learn from our mistakes is carefully to scrutinize them, and vow never to repeat them. I guess this would explain why I’m stuck in princess lessons with her every single weekday from four to six.
    Not surprisingly, Grandmère thinks SHE’s the most suitable person to consult about royal role models. She says in her day, young women did not look up to scantily clad, weapon-wielding princesses such as Xena and “that other one, the one with the robots and the buns on the sides of her head” (!!!!!!) but to royals such as Princess Margaret and Isabel of Spain.
    And though Grandmère says that there are any number of highly memorable princesses she would recommend that I emulate, she always adds, “Though I feel I can say—without flattering myself, which would be highly unprincesslike— that I’m probably your most suitable role model.”
    Whatever! I suppose it is setting a good example to smoke a pack a day and swill down about a zillion Sidecars before breakfast.
    On the other hand, it’s true you hardly ever read about Grandmère in the National Enquirer. She is the epitome of discretion. At least, outside the confines of the palace. Inside, all bets are off.
    ELIZABETH,
THE LATE QUEEN MOTHER
    by Grandmère, Dowager Princess of Genovia, grandmother to Mia Thermopolis
[with commentary by Princess Mia]
    The late queen mother of Great Britain—often vulgarly referred to as the “Queen Mum”—is a perfect example of a princess who comported herself with grace and dignity throughout her long life. The mother of the longest-ruling sovereign in British history, one of Queen “Bess’s” most notable contributions to the throne was her insistence that her family stay together during World War II. Rather than shipping her two young daughters, the Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret, to safety in the countryside, as many London parents were doing, the queen kept the girls at her side in the palace… a palace that was frequently strafed by Luftwaffe gunfire and even, on several occasions, bombed by the Nazi horde.
    Her Majesty refused to be daunted by this senseless onslaught, and bravely visited her less fortunate subjects, commoners whose own homes had been blown to smithereens, in the very craters in which their beds once stood, offering tips as to how the damage might be repaired while never getting so much as a smudge on her crisp cotton gloves. Indomitable and cheerful throughout her husband’s reign, the queen mother is a perfect example of a regent who showed grace under pressure… and always while wearing a delightful confection of a chapeau.
    Â 
    [Um. Okay. The part about not fearing the Nazis is cool.]
    Grandmère’s Random Act of Princess:
    Be like the queen mother: Brighten the day of someone less fortunate than yourself by going to visit him or her while wearing a pair of white gloves and a charming hat with an adorable matching clutch. The poor soul will be cheered by the effort you will have made to look your best.
    ENGLAND’S PRINCESSES
ELIZABETH AND MARGARET
    Like their mother, the young Windsor princesses showed remarkable character during their teen years, despite living under constant threat of being murdered in their beds by an invading Nazi scourge. The brave princesses cheerfully assisted their mother in rolling bandages for the Royal Air Force, and wore cunning little khaki Wren uniforms, just like all the other British girls who chose to volunteer to stop the tyrannical oppression of the Axis powers by running canteens and casino nights for war-weary British soldiers. Through it all they had to endure not only the knowledge that they might at any moment be blown to kingdom come, but also rationing, as things like sugar and—perish the thought!—silk stockings were scarce and had to be saved for the war