Free The Forever Journey by Paul F Gwyn Page A

it.”
    “I would have presumed as much myself, if it had been the other way round. My memories are hazy, and I am too scared to keep pushing, but if this feeling is any indication, then I believe that I do have a daughter. The feeling I get when I see her in my dreams is so profound. I feel the need to protect her, to save her.”
    Nathaniel’s looked at her with understanding. “Where will you go from here?”
    “I do not know yet, but there is one other I must talk to before I decide anything.”
    “Commander Bedford.”
    “Yes.”
    The two sat in profound silence. Annabelle felt a sense of release. Yes, it had been uncomfortable to realise and voice her painful memories, but also, she could not have had a better person to be there for her in this time. She liked to believe she knew how George would react, but he was also a Navy man—would he want her if she was soiled goods? Nathaniel had no such issue; he was her friend, he would remain by her side whatever. She watched Nathaniel for a while, his eyes filled with sorrow and what she thought was confusion. “Is there something else on your mind?” she asked.
    Nathaniel came back into the room and his head turned to her. “There is something, but I do not think it would quite be appropriate after what I have just found out.”
    “You know you can talk to me about anything, much like I did with you.”
    He nodded in response, but held his silence.
    There was an unusual look in Nathaniel’s eyes that Annabelle had only seen a few times. Mostly followed by something important. Sensing that he may feel as she had done, trying to find the words to say, she asked, “Has something happened to you? Something bad?”
    Nathaniel shook his head, instead looking slightly more relaxed. “It is nothing that you need to worry about, more that I need to worry about.” He smiled ruefully. “You aren’t the only one with dark secrets, my dear.”
    Annabelle held his hand. “Then tell me. You let me inflict my secrets on you, surely I can allow you the same courtesy. And I’ve worried about you recently.”
    Nathaniel chuckled softly. “I am far more transparent than I care to be, if you’ve sensed my troubles. But no, it is nothing akin to the horror you went through. Rather it is something that I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. I have always felt that I was made wrong,” he added after a pause of consideration. “I have such thoughts that would be considered deviant. I know that love is the grandest emotion that we can have for another. That by God’s law ‘ Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination’, but there is someone that I have fallen so deeply in love with that it contradicts that, and I fear being cast from God’s love.”
    Annabelle looked at Nathaniel in silence. He could only mean one person, and Annabelle felt sure she knew who. His next words only served to confirm what she had suspected for some time, although she hadn’t realised such suspicions until now.
    “Annabelle, I think I am in love with Arnaud.”
    3.
    FENN LAY UNDER the main boiler, tightening some of the screws, thankful for the opportunity to immerse himself in work. Folkard’s biting words still left their mark on him.
    That and what passed for his future. When they landed on Mars, he would be brought to justice. Some justice . Those damn Russians, if only he could have used the professor’s alias; he wouldn’t be feeling like he was. He could not bear to think of the repercussions for his family. The shame. He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind, tightening the last bolt.
    Hearing the door to the engine room open, and subsequently close, he slid out from his position and stood to greet his visitor. It was Nathaniel, smiling, and greeting him affectionately. Fenn responded with a gruff “hello”, and carried on to the far side of the room. Nathaniel followed him in silence, noting his lack of conversation. After a few