Free The Forever Journey by Paul F Gwyn

have not told you, not told anyone.”
    She watched Nathaniel; afraid to carry on, afraid what saying it out loud, admitting it, could mean. He said nothing, instead wearing an expression nearing dread. She didn’t like causing him to feel such a way, but there was no way she could tell him this, without causing such a reaction.
    “I realised that my dreams were always set in the same place. The scenery, I knew I recognised, but could not remember from where. After last night’s dream, I know. It has always been in the Chiricahua Mountains.”
    “Oh my goodness.”
    “There is a lot about that place that will stay with me forever. I cannot think of it without remembering what happened to my family. My mother and father…” She caught another pained look on Nathaniel’s face. “There is something else, the little girl I keep seeing, she is a part of it. I have seen her face before in dream. I believed it was just a desire on my part to have a child. Now, I’m not so certain.”
    “I cannot imagine what it was like to lose your parents in such a manner, for that I am truly sorry. It cannot be comfortable having these dreams that make you visit there.”
    “It is not, no. Yet, it feels as if it is making me face what I have hidden for so long.” She stood up from her seat, and walked to the cooking area, facing away from Nathaniel. Images of Ceres swept through her mind. “When Koivunen attacked me on Messor Base I had a moment of deep panic. As if an unwanted memory was attempting to tunnel back into my brain. I suppressed it, but now, with all these dreams and my wondering, I know now what it was that I hid from.”
    She turned her head back to Nathaniel, tears streaming down her face. The change in her made Nathaniel move swiftly over to her, embracing her. He wiped away her tears with his thumbs, pulling her closer to him. For a moment, she felt safe. Safe from her memory, safe from the pain.
    “I remember far too much now,” she said, the words spilling without thought. “I remember the sight of my father with a brave’s axe in his skull, the blood shining in the dim light of that cave. And I remember being bound, the leather straps cutting into my wrists until I thought my hands would turn black and shrivel away. They almost did. Perhaps that would have been for the best. Maimed girls are undesirable.”
    “Here now, that again?” Nathaniel said. “You are a beautiful young…” He paused with realization. “Oh.”
    Annabelle nodded. “It’s a strange thing. I don’t hate the Apache, not all of them. Some of them, though, I would see burn. The one I was given to as a war prize, he was…not gentle.” She shuddered. “But these are my memories, my life. Good and bad, they’re mine to own, don’t you see?”
    She allowed herself to sob for a while, holding Nathaniel in sombre silence, comfort coming from their tight embrace. Annabelle pulled away from him softly, tears still clinging to her face. “You have had a life of pain, my dear Annabelle. I do not know what to say.”
    Annabelle, without looking at Nathaniel, nodded, and walked back to the table, delicately sitting down. Her head hurt from thinking, and remembering. Her eyes felt like they had two oceans storming around them. She thought Nathaniel looked almost as pained as when he had believed Arnaud dead.
    “There is one more thing that I have begun to think. Something that would make sense of my dreams.”
    Nathaniel looked at her, joining her again. He didn’t look like he could handle any more.
    “I…I think a child came from that.” She paused, trying to find words. “The girl from my dreams, she is around the age that my child would be. I cannot be sure, but it feels as if it is true.”
    “I cannot believe it. Is it true? You have a child?” Before Annabelle could reply, he added. “You did mention a child when we were on Mars. However, such was your state at the time, I thought it was delirium talking and paid no heed to