Free Cocky Cowboy: A Second Chance Romance (Cocker Brothers of Atlanta Book 3) by Faleena Hopkins Page B

wondering why not.
    I’ve been trying to click back into Ryan but as the days pass that connection hasn’t strengthened.
    I feel like I’m a different woman now and the old me is a stranger. Like I’m walking in another person’s shoes. Sleeping in bed with a man who is a stranger.
    Something happened to me and I have no idea what to do about it.
    “I know. It’s so hot out,” Sylvia says, explaining away my thirst. “I’ve been drinking like a dolphin.”
    Dying for a change in subject I ask, “How was the retreat? I didn’t get a chance to talk to you on our double date.”
    “I know, Rhett kept me all to himself. Isn’t he beautiful?”
    “His name is Harry.”
    “He looks like Rhett Butler, though. Don’t you think?” Off my smile, she winks. “Belize was gorgeous! We had seven days of mediation, raw foods, probiotics, and yoga. If it weren’t for the no-see-ems, it would have been perfect.”
    “What the hell is a no-see-em?”
    She makes a face and leans in. “Little bugs so small you can’t see ‘em. No see ‘em .” Off my laugh, she loudly complains, “Oh no, that’s what they’re called, and they’re serious business! Invisible, flying creatures that bite you. Joy had a reaction to them. Remember her? Red welts all over her arms and legs. Her neck looked like she’d grown a goiter!” Through our laughter, Sylvia insists, “Oh, but the yoga, Rach! It was amazing. Just like Peru, remember that?”
    “I’ll never forget,” I murmur as vivid memories play out the most relaxing week I’ve ever had. “They stopped yoga to enjoy the sunrise and sunset every day, then resumed class with us all in that state of awe.”
    “No phones allowed, except for pictures on the first day—”
    “—Just to get it out of our systems!”
    “Loved that,” Sylvia smiles.
    “But it wasn’t raw-foods-only there. I don’t think I would have enjoyed it as much if it were. Healthy eating I can do. Crazy eating? Um…no.”
    “You’d be surprised!” Off my cocked eyebrow, she confesses, “I brought snacks with me. I cheated.”
    Cheated.
    There’s that word.
    Suddenly I need more water.
    The waiter drops crackers with a bottle of garlic-infused olive oil at our table. Sylvia says, “Thank you.”
    As he goes to walk away I grab his arm. “Can you bring us more water?”
    He nods and grabs my empty glass, heading off.
    Sylvia is completely unaware of my inner turmoil. I’m lucky in her, to have a friend I feel safe with is priceless. But cheating is taboo. That’s a stance I’ve always held. There is no grey area. Only black and white. And yet here I am in my one-day-break, having slept in another man’s arms…and much, much more.
    I want to tell her.
    I need to tell her.
    I’m fucking dying for help on this. But what if she judges me for it, or blows up like my mom did?
    I can’t lose Sylvia.
    As she goes to grab a cracker I decide I have to keep this to myself. She glances to me and pauses. “You okay, Rachel?”
    Before I know what I’m doing I blurt out, “I slept with someone the night we were on the break.”
    She throws the cracker back into the basket. “Holy shit! You what? Who??”
    The story pours out of me. She soaks up every tiny detail, asking things like, “He punched Ryan?!” and “Ryan said he doesn’t want kids?!” and “FOUR TIMES??!!”
    “Five if you count the morning,” I groan, laying my head in my hands.
    “Holy shit, Rachel.”
    “I know.” After I tell her what my mom advised about not divulging my transgressions to Ryan, I beg my best friend for the truth. “Should I tell him?”
    “Hell no!” she mutters, leaning back to call the waiter. “Excuse me! We need some wine over here.” She leans in to ask me, “Honey, how do you feel about this? How come you didn’t call me the moment it happened? You must be killing yourself! He hasn’t called at all?”
    I’m staring at her. “You don’t hate me?”
    She blinks. “What?! No! I don’t