Free Inn & Out (A Romantic Comedy) (Five More Wishes Book 2) by Elise Sax Page A

to choose between common sense and an overactive pituitary gland. The gland wins. With his other hand he takes a swing at Thor, putting his whole body into it.
    Thor deftly ducks the punch, and as the man loses his balance, Thor continues to hold his fist, pulling him close and when he’s in range, punches him in the face with a loud crack. A loud groan fills the air, as the spectators shudder in unison, in horror at the blow, which hits the target with a terrible force. I’m sure Thor has broken the large man’s nose, if not cracked his skull wide open. But it has the effect of subduing the man. His hands fly to his bloody nose, and one of the Tiffanys flies to his side.
    “I’m going to sue your ass, Thor!” the man shouts from behind his hands, his voice muffled like he has a terrible cold.
    “Good luck with that, Richard,” Thor says. Does everyone know everyone on this island? “You forced me to punch you. Damn it. I didn’t want to do that.”
    “Really? You did a pretty good impression of wanting to do it,” the man says, pinching his bloody nose.
    “You’re lucky I didn’t break your arm,” Thor says, kicking the dirt.
    “Yeah, I feel lucky.”
    “You know what I mean.”
    “I know,” the man says.
    “I wanted to break your arm,” Thor says, looking down.
    “I do feel lucky. Really. No hard feelings, Thor,” he says, putting his hand out. Thor shakes it hard.
    “No more bad behavior. There’s kids here.”
    “No more bad behavior,” the man agrees. “Let’s get this show on the road,” he announces through his pinched nose. With real blood drawn, the adults seem to realize what they’ve done, like Bruce Banner waking up after a particularly bad stint as the Hulk. Women search for lost shoes and hair, and men tuck their shirts into their pants. At least a half dozen phones have made it into Thor’s pile of dead branches, and a couple of men work to fish them out.
    “I’m sure they’re insured,” I say with a big smile planted on my face, as they fish them out, their phones’ screens cracked beyond repair. Thor might not be worried about a lawsuit, but I’m sweating bullets. I can’t pay for a bunch of broken phones or a broken nose.
    But there isn’t another word about the lawsuit. The parents quickly right the chairs, and when the coast is clear, the wise kindergarten teacher brings out the kids again, who seem oblivious that their parents have acted less mature then five-year olds. Thor and I open the house to let people wash up and recover from the graduation.
    Inside, the house erupts in blaring noise as the toilet flushes over and over and the faucet is turned on and off by the throngs of guests. I grab hold of Thor and pull him into a corner.
    “What are we going to do?” I ask, clutching fistfuls of his shirt in desperation.
    “We?”
    “We have to have a plan. They’ll close the inn. They’ll bring in the feds. Social services will be on our asses.”
    “What?” he asks. “No National Guard?”
    I gasp. “Oh my God, you think they’ll bring in the National Guard?”
    He looks over my shoulder, and I feel an icy wind at my back. I drop my hands and turn around. Beautiful Jordyn approaches. She still has all of her hair, and her shoes are intact. She looks like a weather woman on a national network. Self-consciously, I smooth my hair.
    “Lovely day,” she says. I look behind me to see who she’s talking to.
    I point at my chest. “Me?”
    “Yes, Beryl. You did a good job.”
    I’m wondering if she’s using “good” in the normal way, or if it has some different meaning for glamorous big-boobed ladies. I almost ask her, but she’s moved on.
    “Thor, impressive as ever.” She smiles, and all her teeth are perfect. Not too much gums, either. “It was nice seeing you. Maybe we’ll see each other soon?”
    “How’s Ted?” he asks.
    “Boring as ever,” she says, shrugging. A woman calls out from another side of the house, and Thor runs away, probably