Free Inn & Out (A Romantic Comedy) (Five More Wishes Book 2) by Elise Sax

event won’t promote good word-of-mouth for my fledgling business. I have to do something quick. Somehow, I need to do damage control without getting maimed in the process. I drop Thor’s hand and walk into the fray. “Can’t we all be friends?” I say, waving my hands above my head, like I’m directing a symphony. They ignore me and keep fighting. “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family,” I begin to sing. This provokes a response but not the one I hope for.
    Two Brittanys run for me, like they’re the Patriots defensive line, and I’ve got the ball. One of my attackers is only wearing one high heel shoe and her mini dress is ripped up the front, baring a double pair of Spanxs. The other has obvious hair trauma with one half of her hair extensions pulled out, and her other half still perfectly in place. It’s a lot like a scene out of the Walking Dead, but they move a lot faster, and they’re much angrier.
    “Now, now, we’ve just gotten a little overexcited, but with a little cleanup, I think we can make this graduation a big success,” I say, forcing a smile, as the two Brittanys get closer to pummeling me. Just as they’re about to reach me with their toned arms outstretched, I shut my eyes tight and brace for impact, throwing my arms around my midsection to protect my soft bits. This is so much worse than a prison riot. There’s nothing tougher than a stay-at-home mom armed with a Neiman Marcus card.
    I’d say a prayer, but I don’t know one about kindergarten graduations gone wrong. So, I focus on my short life and what will probably be a long drawn out death. But either I’m wrong about my death, or my pseudo-prayers are granted, because Thor’s large arm comes out of nowhere, circles my waist, and pulls me away into safety. He half carries me and half drags me away from the crowd, placing me gently behind a faraway tree.
    “Are you okay?” he asks.
    I pat my body and check for damage. “You saved me? They didn’t kill me?”
    “It looks like all of your pieces are still there,” he says. “If you’re okay, I’d better put an end to this.”
    I look behind the tree at the chaos. The kindergarten teacher has got the children behind the stage, giving them juice boxes and Oreos. Luckily, she worked quickly and removed them from witnessing the melee as soon as it began. As the children happily eat Oreos, the parents are duking it out and dirt is literally flying up from the ground in a cloud, like it’s a Bugs Bunny cartoon. There’s no way anyone can put an end to it until these so-called adults put an end to it themselves.
    “Sure. I’m fine. Knock yourself out,” I say.
    Thor takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “Crazy ass people,” he mutters under his breath. Slowly, he walks toward three large men who are rolling around on the ground, punching each other. Whereas the men are big in a too-much-pizza kind of way, Thor is big in a holy-wow kind of way. He towers over them, at least a head taller and more muscle mass than of all them put together. Thor taps one on the back and pulls him out of the group, like he’s pulling weeds.
    “You’re going to stop now,” he roars, and miracle of miracles, the man seems to calm down. One of other men, however, jumps up and takes a swing at Thor. Thor stops his fist in midair, wrapping it in his hand. He shakes his head slowly, as if the large man is a child, who has been caught coloring with his crayons on the wall behind the curtains.
    “You’re going to stop, or you’re going to wish you had stopped,” Thor says, calmly. I shudder, and my skin sprouts goosebumps. His voice cuts right through me, like an attack of pheromones that jumpstart my uterus. But it has a different effect on the crazy parents. It seems to calm them or terrify them. Either way, the fighting dies down, as everyone turns their focus to the scene of Thor facing off with the large man. I can almost hear the large man’s brain ticking away as he tries