Free Big Girls Do It Married by Seth Clarke Page A

meal.
    I sipped from my wine and then reached for Jeff's hand. "What's bugging you?" I asked.
    "Nothing's bugging me," he said, idly twisting the ring on my finger.  
    "Okay, whatever," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
    He grunted a laugh. "Fine, then. I guess I'm just wondering, now that you've agreed to marry me, how long of an engagement you're thinking."
    "I hadn't really thought about it at all, honestly. I've only had, like, a day to get used to the idea that I said yes." I rolled the cloth napkin into a tight spiral. "What are you thinking?"
    He shrugged. "I don't know, either. I know I love you, and I'm personally ready whenever you are. If it were only up to me, I'd say only as long as it took to plan the wedding."
    "The wedding," I said.  
    Agreeing to marry him had seemed simple and natural enough, but I hadn't given a thought to the actual wedding yet. I'd been pretty preoccupied with other concerns, after all.
    "Yeah, the wedding. I thought all girls spent their time planning the whole thing out with their girlfriends?"
    I laughed. "Well, yeah, but by the time you're an adult, things have changed, you know? Like I said the other night, I never saw myself getting married. I don't know. I haven't really thought about it much. I guess I'm not a typical girl like that."
    Jeff smiled. "Baby, there's nothing typical about you, and that's exactly what I love about you. This just means we can figure it out together."
    "I thought guys hated planning weddings. Just agree to whatever his fiancée wants, and all that."
    "Well, I'm no more a typical guy than you are a typical girl. I want to be a part of it."
    "I guess not. So we're a matched pair like that, huh?"
    "Guess we are. So where do you start planning one of these things, anyway? I don't have any idea."
    "Neither do I, really," I admitted, "but I'd say location? Or date?"
    "Hmmm. Do we want it around here? Like in a church?"
    I laughed. "Where else would you have a wedding but in a church?"
    Jeff frowned at me. "Um, outside? On a beach?"
    "Oh, good point. So what do you want?"
    "I don't know. I like the idea of something fun. On a beach in Florida, maybe? Or even somewhere more exotic, like Jamaica?"
    "You know how expensive that would be?"
    He shrugged. "Yeah, suppose it would be kinda pricey, but worth it, to my thinking."
    I tried to picture myself on a beach, somewhere tropical, in a wedding dress, facing Jeff. "It would be awesome, wouldn't it? And it's not like there'd be a lot of people to invite."
    That sobered Jeff up quickly. "Guess not. For either of us, huh? I'd invite my mom and brother, probably Darren, my buddy from the Army."
    Who would I invite to my wedding?  
    "There really isn't anyone for me besides Jamie," I said, the realization hurting more than I'd anticipated.
    "Oh, come on," Jeff said. "I know you don't have the best relationship with your mom, but you'd at least invite her to your wedding, wouldn't you?"
    I shrugged, uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. "I don't know. I haven't seen her in a long time. Years."
    Jeff's brow furrowed. "Really? Not even for holidays?"
    I stared into the rippling red surface of my wine. "Jamie and I both are pretty much alone, so we've spent the last few holidays together. Her past is even more messed up than mine, if you'll believe it."
    "Except for the other morning, I've never really heard you talk about your parents much. Or your past at all, come to think of it." He frowned into his wine glass. "Actually, I don't even know if you have any siblings. I've known you for six years. How is it I don't know that?"
    "I don't talk about it. Nothing to say." I shrugged, trying for a casual dismissal.  
    Jeff didn't buy it. "Come on, Anna. Talk to me."
    I set my glass down. "There's not much to say. I have an older brother in the Marines, career. Joined up the day he graduated high school, eight years ago now. Then there's my cousin who lives in Miami. She's got her own life. We used to be