Free Big Girls Do It Married by Seth Clarke Page B

close, except for every other weekend. But she got married as soon as she could and moved to Miami."
    "You don't talk to her, either?"
    I shrugged again. "We email back and forth a few times a month. I went down to visit her and her family...I think it was last summer? When I went to Florida a while ago."
    "Last summer. I remember you going to Florida," Jeff said. "So you'd invite her at least, right?"
    "Yeah, I suppose I would. Miri is great. She and her husband Kyle have boys, twins."
    "Twins? Does that run in your family? Or is it from her husband's side?"
    "You're really full of twenty questions tonight, aren't you?" I asked.
    "I want to know you. I realized after talking about your folks how little I know about your family."
    "Family." I spat the word, said it like a swear word. "I don't like my parents. That sounds awful, I guess, but it's the truth. There's a reason I don't talk to them. Or about them. My dad...he was the problem. Hopeless drunk. Held a job no problem, but he'd drink a bottle of Jack like it was nothing. Smacked us around a bit. Mom, mainly, me and Jared, too, if we got in the way.  
    "Jared busted loose as soon as he could. He'd stood up for Mom and me as much as he could, took some pretty hard knocks for us when Dad was at the bottom of the bottle. But when he had a way to get out, he took it, and I didn't blame him for it. I'd've joined too, but the military wasn't for me, and I knew it. Mom moved out with us when I was thirteen. Fourteen, maybe? Jared had just turned sixteen, so yeah. I would've been fourteen. Filed for divorce. Of course, my dad still got visitation every other week, which was pretty fucked up, since he drank even more after we left. He didn't hit us when it was just us. He was always going after Mom. He'd get drunk and turn on some stupid kids’ movie. Bambi or something. We didn't argue, just wait till he passed out and turn on something else.   That was pretty much it. We'd see him twice a month, he'd buy us some crap, take us for ice cream. He finally figured out we hated the Disney movies, so he started playing movies Mom wouldn't let us watch. But we started getting older, and he just...he didn't know what to do with me."
    "My brother has a daughter who's a teenager. Teenagers are difficult."
    "Especially when you didn't want kids in the first place, like in our case."
    "Oh, come on, Anna, I'm sure that's not—"
    "I heard him say it, Jeff." I took a too-big swallow of wine and coughed. "I was listening out my window after Dad dropped Jared and me off, one Sunday night. He and Mom were arguing. Dad said he had to skip visitation for the next few weekends. Called it 'business.' Mom called it bullshit. She wanted him to spend more time with us, and he kept making excuses. Eventually my mom badgered him into getting so pissed off he just admitted it. 'I never wanted kids, Laura!' is exactly what he said. Mom flipped the fuck out on him. I refused to see him after that. I guess I always knew he didn't want me, but to hear it..."
    "That's a shitty thing to say."
    "Yeah. He knew it, too. He saw me in my window, tried to explain how that's not what he meant, but—"
    "But the damage was done." Jeff's eyes were full of compassion.
    "Yeah. That was when I was fifteen. I didn't really see him except for a handful of times since. He died a couple years ago. Cirrhosis of the liver."
    "What about your mom?"
    I pinched the bridge of my nose. I hated talking about my parents. "Jeff, this is history. I hate—"
    "It's important to me."
    I finished the wine and spun the cup by the stem between my fingers. "God. Okay. Well, my mom is more complicated. I love her, I do. She raised me by herself after she and Dad split up, and she did the best she could. Then she met her new husband, Ed. She changed when she met him. I don't know even know what it is, exactly, but she's just...different. She was always high-strung, passionate and outspoken and all that—"
    "Gee, I wonder why that's