Free The Reproductive System (Gollancz SF Library) by John Sladek Page A

way of life.
    ‘Vortex is many things to many people. Here we see a steel mill run by computers from Vortex Instrument Group. And here’, he said, and Susie took more interest in the next scene, for it was an operating room, ‘here is Dr. Toto Smilax performing open heart surgery—using a scalpel made by Vortex Cutlery Group.
    ‘
Vortex!
’ exclaimed the announcer in conclusion. ‘First in war and first in peace—and first in the hearts of its countrymen.’
    The newscaster returned. ‘Altoona, Nevada,’ he said. ‘Until today, just another ordinary American city in the West. Now—who knows? Life
may
be going on as usual in Altoona—
as far as we know
. But since early this morning there has been a news blackout imposed by the joint efforts of the FBI, the CIA and the National Security Agency. We have been unable to contact anyone within the city.
    ‘What has happened? Frankly, we don’t know. It could be, as some hint, a Russian invasion, or even an invasion from outer space. Calmer sources believe it to be a test of some sort, and at least one reliable source indicated that it might be a secret weapon gone wrong.
We just don’t know
.’ Every time he used this phrase, the newscaster’s face seemed a little more crumpled, a little closer to tears. For another fifteen minutes he told Susie of all the things we don’t know. Then the announcer with the soothing voice (that sent nice warm ripples over Susie’s tummy) returned to demonstrate the two-stage Hermes-Aphrodite missile. Advertising was so silly, Susie thought, resuming her breathing exercises.
    By her
Lifetime
watch, she noted how late it was getting. She was going to have to hustle to be ready for her date with Ron. And she had meant to study for her Organic Chem test Monday morning. Here it was Saturday night and she hadn’t opened the book !
    Quickly Susie showered with
Nice
, the 24-hour soap that gets at odours other soaps just seem to miss, and rolled on plenty of SHUR , to be sure about those offensive odours. After dusting all over with Lady Clinge talc, she slipped on her
Modaform
6-way-stretch panty girdle that b-r-e-a-t-h-e-s, her Deepline
Modaform
Sport-support bra, and began applying
Classique
Parfum, the scent that makes every woman an empress, every
    man a slave.
    Drawing on her black sweater and black skirt, Susie seated herself at the vanity table to do her face. After covering her golden freckles with
Blanc
foundation, she powdered with Rubella Gorne’s
Klown
powder. To her Greekly perfect mouth, she applied a white lipstick called
Eraser
.
    For her eyes, Susie selected her usual assortment of Nora Hart shades, chiefly oyster and sylph-green, but blending in touches of burgundy and bronze. Then, after brushing her hair and applying a liberal amount of
Airnet
, there remained only jewellery.
    On a velvet bar in Susie’s vanity kit were pinned Bob’s ΔKE pin, Len’s Young Republican pin, and Jim’s Vietnam button. Her fingers passed over these, nor paused at the Pepsi
Come Alive!
, the
Go Gophers!
, or the
Win With Dewey
buttons, went on to the end of the bar and selected the peace mandala Ron had given her. As she pinned it on, her mother came to the door.
    ‘That awful creature Ron is here,’ she stage-whispered. ‘Oh, I’m sorry I don’t like him, dear, but he’s so—so shifty. And he always wears old clothes. And now—now he’s even growing a
beard
! Ugh !’
    Fighting down her own repulsion at the idea, Susie said, ‘But mother, he’s one of the richest boys in the city of Santa Filomena. Surely you want me to have a good future?’
    ‘I don’t know. I just don’t know.’ Madge’s tanned face deepened its seams with worry. ‘I married your father because he had a good future with the insurance company. Now look at me.’
    Susie looked at her mother and saw an attractive middle-aged woman right from the pages of
Lady Fair
, to which Madge subscribed: dark hair, streaked with silver, a slim, girlish figure,