Free Thrice Upon a Marigold by Jean Ferris Page B

his shirt and onto the floor.
    â€œIt won’t be long before I can upgrade,” Vlad mused, giving Boris a look of disgust. “After this caper is over, I’m on my way to greener pastures. Once word gets out about this heist, I’ll be in demand in any number of places. When that money’s in my hands, I’m history.”
    â€œMe, too,” Boris mumbled around his sandwich.
    â€œOld boy,” Vlad said. “Let me suggest something. For your future. I believe you should begin planning on one without me.”
    â€œOne what?” Boris mumbled.
    â€œFuture. It’s been a long and fruitful partnership but I rather think it’s time for us to be going our separate ways now.”
    â€œWhat!” Boris exclaimed, then coughed, a piece of anaconda-sausage stuck in his throat.
    â€œYes,” Vlad went on calmly, watching Boris’s face get redder and redder. “I need to move on unhindered by any baggage.”
    Boris gasped and gargled, his eyes bugging out, his lips forming what might have been the words, “Help! I’m choking!”
    Vlad regarded him placidly.
    Boris had rolled onto his back and was writhing desperately when Emlyn entered the room. “Lucifer’s lunchbox!” she exclaimed. “Look at Boris!” She ran to him, pulled him into a sitting position, and hugged him hard from behind. The thrust of her hug caused a hunk of sausage to shoot from Boris’s mouth and smack into the wall, missing Vlad by inches. Vlad raised the corner of his lip in repugnance.
    Boris scrambled to his feet and charged, yelling, “Were you just going to watch me choke to death?” He closed his hands around Vlad’s throat. Now it was Vlad’s turn to turn several shades of red.
    â€œHey!” Emlyn shouted, grabbing Boris’s hands. “I don’t care what you two do to each other once we’ve got the ransom money. But let’s keep it together until then, okay? We’re going to have enough trouble with other people trying to hurt us without doing it to each other.” She yanked hard at Boris and managed to pull him off Vlad.
    Boris lay on the floor at Emlyn’s feet, gasping, while Vlad, his hands protectively around his throat, gasped, too.
    â€œYou were going to watch me expire,” Boris wheezed.
    â€œOf course not,” Vlad said, then coughed. “I would have gotten to you in time to save you.”
    â€œHah!” Boris said bitterly.
    â€œWell, thanks to Emlyn”—and Vlad gave her a dark look—“now you’ll never know for sure.”
    â€œMe?” Emlyn squealed, getting the idea that she had interrupted something more malign than an accidental choking. “I was just responding to an emergency, the way any sensible person would do.” No one seemed to find any irony in an accomplice to a felony regarding herself as a sensible, compassionate person.
    â€œAnd what did you mean about going our separate ways?” Boris went on. “What am I supposed to do on my own?”
    â€œI believe you have certain marketable skills,” Vlad said, adjusting his collar. “Rather crude ones, I would admit, but ones that have stood you in good stead. All you have to do now is to find another monarch who values the art of torture as much as Queen Olympia did.”
    â€œAnd where am I supposed to find that?” Boris blustered. “You think I can just walk into any random kingdom and ask if anyone needs to have their fingers broken by the Digit Snapper? Or the flesh of their faces flayed by the Dragon’s Teeth?”
    â€œI would suggest more subtlety than that,” Vlad said.
    â€œHey, wait a minute,” Boris said, his eyes narrowing. “You’ve been thinking about this for a long time already, haven’t you? You’ve made your plans without consulting me, or even telling me. You don’t want me with you, do you?”
    Vlad rolled his eyes,