Free Why Me? by Neil Forsyth Page A

I went out last night on our first twinklers hunt and I think we’ve come up with a few early contenders for the first issue. As the executive editor, we’ll obviously be guided by you. So can you just pick out your top three?
    As soon as you do that I’ll get my info to you,
    Yours,
    Bob Servant
    Editor, Twinklers Magazine: Putting a Twinkle in Your Day!

    ----------------
    From: Peter Smith
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: What is this?
    Bob,
    What are you doing? I do not want to be direct involved in your magazine Bob. However if needed I will pick the pretty girl and the man in the hat. Now see your side of bargain right Bob I have done my job more than enough.
    Peter
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Peter Smith
    Subject: Dogs?
    Peter,
    Had a bit of a brainwave. How about ‘Pet’s Corner’ where people can submit photos of any pets that they reckon have a decent pair of twinklers? I went out with Frank and got some samples from the dog mob. Would you mind picking the first entry for Pet’s Corner?
    The form is nearly done,
    Bob

    ----------------
    From: Peter Smith
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: OK
    Bob,
    Well Bob only 2 of them are real dogs which you must know. I will say the dog with white hair it looks fun.
    I am starting to wonder what you are doing here Bob. I am the manager of the loan company I do not have responsibility to help you with the magazine itself.
    SEND THE INFORMATION RIGHT NOW Bob
    Peter
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Peter Smith
    Subject: A Walk On The Wild Side?
    Peter,
    I had a little think. When wild animals are tamed they tend to lose a bit of twinkle from their eyes, just look at Moby Dick or George Best. So instead of domestic pets, why don’t we ‘take a walk on the wild side’?
    To that end Frank and I headed up to Dundee’s famous Ninewells Zoo earlier this afternoon. It’s just reopened after that nonsense about the wardens being too pally with the animals. 25 Anyway, we got some shots below.
    What do you think? Do you see a cover star amongst them?
    Bob
    Editor, Twinklers Magazine: Putting a Twinkle in Your Day!

    ----------------
    From: Peter Smith
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: Have heard enough
    Bob Servant,
    I am losing trust in you now. I know you are wanting to do this magazine with the eyes and now the animals but Bob this is not my job. I am only arranging the loan.
    Where is your personal information? This has been promised by you for so long it is just not right.
    What are you doing?
    Peter Smith
    Financial Services
    ----------------
    From: Bob Servant
    To: Peter Smith
    Subject: The Worst Possible News
    Peter,
    I just had a pretty awful meeting with Inky Edwards. I told him what we’ve been up to, and how you wanted to push the animal angle, and the guy looked at me like I had two noses.
    To cut a long story short, Inky is withdrawing his support for Twinklers. He says that when he first heard of the idea he was all for it because he liked the fact that with all the council cutbacks we were going to support local folk through giving them work modelling their twinklers for the magazine. But he said we’ve lost our way with the animal thing because that is not helping the local unemployed. As Inky said, and it was hard to argue with him, ‘no-one’s ever sacked a penguin’.
    With the loss of Inky’s order, Peter, I have zero customers. With the best will in the world, you can’t run a business without customers. You’ll know what I mean by that. I’m afraid the game’s up and I just don’t know what else to say, Peter. I feel like Rory Bremner is throwing darts at my balls while talking like John Major. Again, you’ll know what I mean by that.
    Your Servant,
    Bob Servant
    Former Editor of Twinklers Magazine: Putting a Twinkle in Your Day!
    ----------------
    From: Peter Smith
    To: Bob Servant
    Subject: final option
    Send the information today or you forget about the