Free Knight Vision by Johanna Bock

openly.
    “What made me different?“ Jeff asked, truly interested in her answer.
    “This, I think.  Being naked beside you without cover and not feeling exposed.  The ability and comfort level to discuss anything with you.  Freedom, . . . no not freedom.  It is more like permission to be myself, to be able to pour out my soul earlier.  The desire I see in your eyes, even now.  You have touched my heart; I feel love from you.  I have never felt this way before,“ she admitted honestly.
    Annie saw Jeff’s eyes glaze over at her words.  Damn , she thought.  I have shared too much.  Ever present self-doubt crawled onto her shoulder and whispered into her ear.  “You blew it.  Get up, get dressed, and walk home.  It WAS fun.“   She shook her head and screamed, No , in her mind.  I am not giving this man up .
    Reaching out with a shaking hand, she brushed the hair on his forehead.  “Hello, are you there?“ she asked quietly.  Jeff’s eyes refocused on her.  “Penny for your thoughts,“ she voiced worriedly, pulling her hand back.
    “Thoughts,“ Jeff echoed, not smiling.
    “Yes,“ she pushed.
    “Your words.“
    Annie replayed her words in her head.  Crap , she used the ’L ’ word.  What the hell?  she thought, as a sinking feeling overcame her.  She had to save the moment.  “Jeff, I said the wrong word earlier.  I meant desire not the other word,“ she amended quickly. 
    “No, you meant what you said originally,“ he stated, squinting at her.  “I have learned that much about you already.  You speak the truth.“
    “I don’t know what to say.  If you want me to go, I understand,“ she admitted, with tears building in her eyes as she moved away from him.
    “Where are you going?“ Jeff asked softly.
    “I don’t know.  Away,“ she responded. 
    “Not so fast, little lady,“ he said, reaching for her and pushing her onto her back.  Shifting positions, he placed his leg over hers and perched his upper body on his elbow so he could look down upon her.  “You are not going anywhere.  You had your turn; it is now mine.“
    Annie’s heart was beating so hard, she thought it would explode in her chest.  Seeing the fear in her eyes, he reached out and lovingly brushed her hair away from her eyes.  “I vowed earlier to you that I would never hurt you, so relax and listen to me.  Your words started me thinking.  That was what I was doing.  When you said you feel love from me, it shocked me.  I really thought I was incapable of love, giving or receiving it.  I don’t think I have ever experienced it.  I come from a broken home with some really deep-dark demons in the closet.  I have functioned my entire life on just surviving one day to the next.  I have no root system, no balance, and I believe it is the reason I write poetry.  It gives me an outlet for my feelings without the messiness of personal relationships.  That’s it!  I am a failure in personal relationships,“ he informed her.
    “No, you are not,“ Annie said, reaching out and placing her hand on the side of his face.  
    “Oh, yes, I am or was until you,“ Jeff confessed.
    “Me?“ Annie questioned unbelievingly.
    “Since I first heard your laugh, something changed within me.  As I stood there watching you last night, I knew you were special.  I have not been able to get you off my mind,“ he said, turning his head into her palm and kissing it.  Reaching up with his left hand, he captured her hand and placed their joined hands on his chest over his heart. 
    “Jeff?“
    “No.  Let me finish,“ he begged.  “When you bumped into me on your flight to the restroom, I was blown away by your incidental touch.  Your flustered facial blush sealed the deal.  Annie, you glowed to me.  I know it sounds strange, but I didn’t see it until that encounter.  My eyes followed you and I was mesmerized.  I truly believe that was the moment when the wall around my heart cracked.  Believe me;