Free A Different Light by Elizabeth A. Lynn

could I do for him? But I do care."
    They walked silently, stiffly, side by side. Then Russell laughed. He caught Jimson's shoulder to hold him still. "I was going to suggest that we find a place to talk and tell lies about the past. But I can't now, I have to run around and try to dig out information on Demea. Will you be at Rin's tonight?"
    "I usually am."
    "I'll try to meet you there. I can't promise to make it, you never know what might come up. But I'll try." He brushed Jimson's cheek with his palm. "All right?"
    "All right," Jimson said. It was hard to resist the familiar touch, the familiar teasing smile.
    "Do you know how to get home from here, babe?"
    "I'll figure it out." He stood quietly, watching Russell stroll towards a Bridge ramp. The warmth in his heart began to fade. He felt evaded, manipulated. He rubbed his hands together. He needed to talk to Russell, and not necessarily about the past. And he did not want to hear any lies.
     
    * * *
     
    He went home to an empty house and spent the afternoon trying to draw. By evening he was tense, and the floor of the house was littered with crumpled pieces of paper. The litter made him think of Hari Oregon. He went to Rin's. When he sat down at the bar Rin looked at him curiously. "Not in your corner?"
    "No. Give me a drink, please."
    Rin brought it to him and he drank it quickly. He sensed that Russell was not coming. Perhaps he had never meant to come. He stared around the bar. Chi was there. Denny and Kay were there: Miri was there, fabulous Miri, looking no more than twenty-two. Ysao was not there. He tapped on the bar for another drink. Rin brought it to him. "Word is that Leiko's found a ship," said the bartender. "That true?"
    "She's leaving soon," Jimson said, and then he snarled at Rin, "Fuck off! I don't ask you questions!" He leaned his back to the bar. He had begun to think of Rin's as home. That was a mistake. No place for him was home. What the hell had he come to Nexus for? He couldn't remember. Go back to New Terrain, he told himself. Go back and hide in your cave, until one day they come and find you and haul you out and bury you.
    There's nothing for you here. "Give me another drink," he said to Rin. "All I can do is draw."
    Miri crossed the glittering floor and floated to the stool next to him. Rin served her. She smiled at Jimson. Blinked, like a cat. Her black eyes were outlined with dark shadow and gold glitter. He expected her to purr.
    "Tell me about the Sigurd ," he said.
    "Tell me about New Terrain."
    He wondered how she knew—but of course, he was famous. "It's a place."
    "Hot? Cold? Wet or dry? Does it have stars?"
    "Don't all places have stars?"
    She smiled and shook her head.
    "The Hype ships colonized it. From New Terra they went to New Terrain. It's earth-normal, but smaller than Terra. It has a moon. It has five moons, but four of the five are tiny, just captured rocks in orbit. The starships are on the fifth moon, Epsilon Moon. I lived in Las Flores. And before that on North Island. Russell and I met there. Your turn."
    "I was born in Alexandria on Old Terra," she said, dreamily. "Before there were any Hype ships, before there were any starships at all. Just things they call spaceprobes. I was a child when the first pictures came back from Jupiter...."
    "Jupiter?"
    "Never mind. What do you want to know about the Sigurd ? It takes four thousand people at one time to the Lesser Magellanic Cloud, and it looks like bubbles."
    "Bubbles?"
    "A long chain of bubbles."
    Bubbles, like the bubbles in his glass. "Tell me about the Hype."
    "The Hype. It used to drive people mad. The entropic discontinuities affected the brain. That's why we named it the Hype. Ilse Perse went to Verde to study the hyperdrive equations. Figured them out. Convinced the Terran government to build the Drive, to build the starships, to call for volunteers—some of them came back. They made the first mappings of the congruencies. I had a lover who didn't come back. No