Free Mr. Chickee's Messy Mission by Christopher Paul Curtis

missing an angel,’ cause you're here with me right now!' ”
    Steven shut his eyes, shook his fist at the sky and screamed out, “No! Anything but this! I want something else to be changed! Make it so I'm not so smart, make it so I'm not so handsome, make it anything but this! What have I done to deserve this?”
    He looked at Richelle, saw the horror on her face and screamed, “What have I done to deserve this, to deserve living at the same time as the most beautiful, most precious thing to ever have lived in history?”
    Richelle's face went from being horrified to something Steven didn't recognize.
    Great-great-grampa Carter's dictionary finally stopped downloading all of the new information and said, “Ah, that would be a classic look of mortification.”
    Steven's eyes were glued on Richelle. He said, “So,
mortification
means ‘lovely beyond belief’?”
    The African woman said, “Not quite. But simply avoid looking at her, young man, I'm fairly certain that will solve your problem.”
    Steven looked away, and sure enough, as soon as he did, he was back to thinking of Richelle as a creepy little genius wannabe.
    He knew he had to say something extremely rude, but all he could come up with was “Richelle Cyrus-Herndon is such a pain that no one can stand her.” He knew that was weak, so he threw in “She also eats boogers!”
    Richelle smiled and said, “Whew!”
    Russell smiled and said, “Whew!”
    Steven, being careful to look at anything but Richelle, smiled and said, “Whew!”
    Mr. Chickee said, “Well, now that that's over, I've been remiss in not introducing you to my dear friend Ms. Naomi Tiptip. Ms. Tiptip, this is Russell Braithewaite Woods.”
    Russell shook the tall woman's hand and said, “I recognize you! Mummy and Daddy force me to read all the time, and they bought me a book about people in Africa. I know you're dressed like a Masai woman. The book says your people do a lot of cattle herding.”
    Ms. Tiptip smiled and said, “You're right! I think it's great your parents encourage you to read and to learn about other people.”
    “Yeah, the book says the Masai are very friendly and never get angry at anybody.”
    Ms. Tiptip and Mr. Chickee exchanged a look.
    She said, “Indeed we are a friendly people, Russell, but I'm not really sure what the book meant when it said we never get angry. Believe me, I've seen my sister get quite angry with my brother, and I must admit I've been known to get a little ticked off with him myself.”
    “Are you sure you're Masai?”
    “Without doubt.”
    “I don't know, the book said real plain that you guys are the kind of people who have no mads in the group.”
    Ms. Tiptip smiled. “Ahh! Nomads! That doesn't mean we never get angry, Russell, it means we're wanderers, we travel from place to place.”
    Russell whispered to Steven, “I'm gonna ignore her definition, I like mine better.”
    Ms. Tiptip said, “Guess what, Russell? I've also studied a few things about you. I know you hold many Yourside records for eating massive amounts of food. In fact, I believe the only person in Ourside, in our dimension, who can consume as much as you do is the Incredible Bottomless Pit Glutton Man of Sultana.”
    Mr. Chickee said, “I don't know, Naomi. Don't forget, on the island of Cyclopsia there's Bryanne the Wonky One-Eyed Goat Girl, and she's even less picky about what she'll eat than the Glutton Man.”
    Russell beamed and whispered to Steven, “Wow, Bucko!I never thought I'd be famous in another dimension! I don't even know what a dimension is!”
    Mr. Chickee said, “And this charming young woman is Richelle Cyrus-Herndon.”
    Richelle said, “
Jambo, bibi. Habari gani?
”
    The African woman laughed, threw her head back and said, “
Swahili! Jambo! Ulijulia wapi kuongea Kiswahili sanifu hivyo?
”
    Richelle said, “
Niliishi Kenya miaka mitatu
.”
    Ms. Tiptip said, “
Nimefurahi sana kukutana na mschana kama wewe anayeongea lugha yangu vizuri