Free Dates And Other Nuts by Lori Copeland

muttered, grabbing it. He fished two pills out of the cat’s mouth and flushed them down the toilet. Cockeyed wasn’t at all happy about the operation and took a mean swipe at Craig before being pitched into the bedroom.
    Dropping to his hands and knees, Craig scraped together the remainder of the aspirin, separating cat hairs from the tablets as best he could, and stuffed the pills back into the bottle. Retrieving the cosmetics, Craig piled perfume, hair spray, styling gel, deodorant and mouthwash back onto the counter. He doubted Gabrielle would notice the difference.
    He returned to the living room, the telltale scent of Giorgio clinging to him. “Leaving your curling iron on is dangerous.”
    She sniffed, looking at him with a slight frown.
    Did she think he had been into her perfume?
    He started to explain, but she interrupted. “You some kind of safety nut?”
    â€œNo, but that’s a damn good way to set the place on fire.”
    She flipped the last of the ribs from the scorched box onto a plate.
    â€œYou can buy curling irons that automatically shut themselves off,” he added.
    â€œI’ve had that one since high school. I don’t want to break in a new one.” She smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry. I leave it on all the time. Dinner’s ready.”
    His soda can had cat hair coating the sides.
    Brushing away what he could without being obvious, he took a tentative sip. Gabrielle picked up a cat from the floor. She held it on her lap while she ate, feeding it and the four other felines tidbits from her plate.
    â€œIt’s not bad, is it?” she tossed a piece of meat to the chow who caught it with practiced ease. “It hardly tastes burned at all.”
    He’d had enough.
    Pushing back from the table, he stood up. “I hate to cut this short, but I have an early flight in the morning.”
    â€œOh, you have to leave so soon? I thought we might play Uno.”
    â€œSorry.” He smiled. Uno? I don’t think so.
    Gabrielle followed him to the door. “Tell Temple I said hi.”
    â€œI’ll do that.”
    She stood in the doorway waving as he stepped into the elevator.
    â€œAu revoir, monsieur.” She blew happy kisses at him.
    He’d tell Temple hi, all right, he thought. Plus a few other things.
    Craig headed straight for the shower when he got home and stood under the hottest water he could take until it ran cool.
    His second act was to call Temple.
    â€œI thought we had an agreement.” He stretched out on the couch and stared at the ceiling.
    â€œWhat are you doing home so early?” Temple asked. “It’s only nine.”
    â€œI held out as long as I could. Did you know Gabrielle is an animal lover?”
    He scratched his flat belly. Just thinking about the woman’s apartment made him itch.
    â€œYes, I think she has a cat—”
    â€œCats. Five. And two dogs.”
    â€œFive?”
    â€œFive cats, Temple. And a rottweiler and a chow. Big rottweiler,” he clarified. “One with cold eyes that watched me. Big chow. Lots of hair. Shedding. Liked me a whole lot, if you know what I mean.”
    â€œI thought she lived in an apartment,” Temple said.
    â€œDon’t you know where she lives?”
    â€œNo. I only see her occasionally. We fly different schedules. You didn’t like her?”
    â€œWe’re not...compatible,” he said shortly.
    â€œOh, I thought you would be. I mean, she’s fun. A kind of latent flower child. You’re so traditional I thought she’d be good for you. Contrast, you know?”
    â€œThe woman’s apartment is a tinderbox. The cat box stinks so bad it’s sickening. I’m not sure, but the methane gas in there could have sent us sky-high. She has five cats, Temple,” he repeated. “Five! Plus two dogs. They all sleep in the same room—”
    â€œOh, Craig—”
    â€œThey’re big