Free To Marry the Duke's Daughter (After the Masquerade) by Ashley Stormes

father
every morning, walked alone through the park every evening, and had taken up
crochet as a means of occupying her time when she was left to her own devices.
Chattrecombe admitted that Felicity was very upset for the first few weeks, but
though she often spoke of Jonathon to her father she no longer frightened her
father with her despondency.
    Jonathon was grateful she did not
suffer because of their separation, but he was constantly struck with the
realization that his initial impression of Felicity was more a reflection of
his own personality. He had never taken the time to get to know tenants, or
help them when a child was sick. He had never even bothered to think about
them. His father had never spoken about his responsibilities as an earl and a
landlord, and his brother certainly fit the ideal of an absentee landlord. In
his formative years he had been without an example of a man who considered the
feelings of others. While in the cavalry he had no need to consider the
feelings of others; that would have interfered with his position as an officer,
and would have made shooting Frenchmen even more challenging than it had been.
He had arrived in London with all the trappings of a spoiled child that had
been permitted to run amuck. It had taken Felicity’s influence to turn him
into a man that desired something more.
    She deserved so much more than he could
provide; if she truly loved him he needed to prove himself worthy. He needed
to stop mentally complaining about his brother’s foul treatment of him, for he
understood that a gambling debt was a debt of honour, and thus required payment
by whatever means necessary. Holding one’s younger brother at gunpoint did not
seem necessary, but if Gregory saw it that way, Jonathon would play along. His
funds were safe, discreetly invested in stocks that his brother would never be
able to take away. Financially, Jonathon would be able to provide for Felicity
if she chose him as her husband.
    His temperament needed tending, but he
had found it easier to see others in a kinder light when Felicity was with him.
On his own he fell into moody grumblings, and he needed to refrain from such
poor behaviour. He was a grown man, after all, and had no business acting like
a spoiled boy. It would never recommend him to Felicity or her father.
    It was painfully obvious that drinking
would no longer be a danger, but then he had never had a propensity to drink
too much even as a young man. As soon as he could move without fear of casting
up his accounts, he would write that information down for her to read. Upon
moving into Gregory’s townhouse he started keeping a journal, but he quickly
realized that he was writing for Felicity, and not for himself. Poems,
tirades, brief notes to say he missed her—they all added up to fill two
small notebooks. Lately he had written about Napoleon’s escape from Elba, and
current hold on Paris. Jonathon had felt conflicted by the desire to tap into
his funds and buy back his commission; all of his friends were now gone, set to
teach Napoleon a final lesson. He had always wanted a military career, but now
he was unwilling to give up Felicity. She meant more to him than his career.
Though he felt that he should be fighting for Britain, he would gladly sit
aside and protect his secrets from his brother so that he could present himself
as Felicity’s suitor once she returned to London.
    He wrote most of the entries at night,
when he lay awake and resigned himself to sitting by his small window and
staring outside at the stars. He was afraid that was part of his problem sleeping;
when he looked up at the stars he could imagine that she was sitting beside
him, her hand in his and her head upon his shoulder. They would gaze up at the
stars together, point out the constellations they recognized, and murmur their
deepest dreams and desires.
    That was what he loved the most about
Felicity. She was open and honest with him, as no one else had ever been,