Free Awakenings - SF1 by Susan X Meagher Page A

it's not a preference for me."
    "Okaaay," she said slowly, drawing the word out while she considered this. "I don't really see the difference..."
    "Okay," Ryan said quickly. "I assume you consider yourself heterosexual, right?"
    "Well, yeah," she laughed. "So does Jack," she added with a grin.
    "But if you broke up would you accept a date from a woman?"
    "Uhh..."Jamie found herself absolutely dumbstruck at this question. She seemed to have lost her ability to speak but Ryan replied for her.
    "I take it that's a 'no'," she said helpfully. "I think sexuality is like that for many if not most people. You focus on one gender for your sexual attraction. You don't look at the whole human race and decide which one you slightly prefer, Jamie. Your orientation leads you to only look at men as sexual partners, right?" she asked quietly.
    "Uhh...right!" she finally said, as a deep blush covered her face and neck. "Right!" she said again for emphasis.
    "Please don't be embarrassed, Jamie," she said gently. "You're not offending me at all." She smiled sweetly and maintained eye contact as she continued. "That's how it is for me too," Ryan advised. "I don't 'prefer' women. The thought of being with a man sexually has as much pull for me as being with my dog. And that's not a put down of dogs or men," she added with a laugh. "It's just something so outside of my orientation that both of those options seem equally far-fetched to me."
    "Okay," Jamie said slowly. "I think I get your point. And I can see why having it called a preference could be offensive."
    "Sorry if that seemed like a lecture," Ryan said. "But I figure that you want to understand this stuff or you wouldn't have taken the class."
    "Absolutely!" she agreed. "Now do you remember the rest of my question?"
    "Verbatim," she said with a waggling eyebrow. "I don't think a place like this can push someone into a life that wasn't right for them, Jamie. The purpose of this type of place is not to recruit. It's to help people figure out their true orientation and learn to be comfortable with it."
    "But," Jamie interrupted, "what about all the girls and women who are just dabbling in lesbianism? It sure is popular now to have 'done it' with a woman."
    "I doubt that those women will eventually consider themselves lesbians," Ryan replied. " I think for many of them it is a rite of passage, kind of like getting a tattoo or a piercing. In the long run though, that might be a good thing...it might remove some of the stigma from being gay if more people had some experience with the act."
    "I guess you could be right, but how do you think it will affect those women who are just playing around in the long run? Jamie persisted.
    "You're kind of making it sound like the Scarlet Letter, Jamie," she said with a tiny frown. "For many women having sex is just that...sex. It's no big psychological incident for most women if they're just playing around. They know they're just experimenting. I think the women who have a harder time are the true lesbians. For many of them having sex with a woman finally confirms their feelings. Then they have to deal with all of the fallout from that realization. And that's where this place comes in."
    "I guess I see your point, but this is a lot to absorb. It's kind of like visiting another culture. It takes time to get acclimated," she reasoned.
    "Maybe some coffee would help," Ryan suggested with a smile. "Let me buy you one."
    As she settled down into a burgundy velour sofa Jamie accepted two large mugs of latte' from Ryan. She waited until her friend was seated at a polite distance and handed one mug back to her.
    "Ohh, this is good. I like the little sprinkle of chocolate on the top," she said as she licked a white foam mustache from her top lip. "Do you have time to tell me the story of your sordid lesbian past?" she teased, reminding Ryan of her earlier promise.
    "I've only got an hour," she replied as she looked at her watch, "that should get us through a year or