Free Archer's Angels by Tina Leonard

childhood.”
    Mason stared at the doorway Mimi had left empty. He glanced around at his brothers, his throat working, his face distressed and somehow older. “Dammit to hell and back,” he said, throwing his napkin onto the table. “This place is a freaking zoo. I’m going out.”
    He left the room in the opposite direction Mimi had gone.
    “Excellent,” Archer said. “So far everything is normal.”
    “Oh, yeah,” Crockett said sarcastically. “I think that went very well. Every night should be so warm and cozy. Next thing you know, we’ll have our own reality show, just like the Brady Bunch.”
    “That wasn’t a reality show,” Bandera pointed out. “And Helga really isn’t like Alice, do you think?”
    The brothers glared at him. Bandera looked at each of them, then picked up his fork and began to chew forlornly.
    “So…back to your announcement,” Last said with a grin. “Triplets, eh? I cede the trophy for family error to you, bro.”
    “Who is she?” Crockett asked. “Anyone we know?”
    “Even I don’t really know her,” Archer said. “She’s an Australian stuntwoman.”
    “Dang,” Bandera said, his tone admiring. “Hang ten, brother!”
    “We need a woman who can put a little juice back into this family,” Crockett said. “She sounds fun! An Aussie stuntwoman bearing triplets! Does she have an accent? Does she say, ‘G’day, mate’?”
    “Jeez.” Archer ran a hand through his hair. “She’s not what I would classify as fun. She has a slight accent. She’s never called me mate, and we don’t even come close to being friends. As far as the stuntwoman thing goes, as exciting as it might be, I’m making her quit her job. Too dangerous.”
    “You’re making her quit her job.” Bandera chewed and thought about that. “How did she take that?”
    “Very well for a first mention, I thought.”
    “Which means he talked, she ignored him or possibly laughed in his face, and he plans to revisit the subject. So, are you moving Down Under?” Last asked. He looked thoughtful. “And…when’s the wedding date?”
    His brothers stared at him. Uncomfortable tickling began along his neck and continued up over his skull. Archer cleared his throat nervously. “Too many questions to be answered tonight. Let’s eat this grub.”
    Crockett’s eyes were round. “You are marrying the mother of your triplets, aren’t you? We Jeffersons are going to start getting a bad reputation if the seed doesn’t stop getting scattered with such enthusiasm.”
    Last glared at Crockett. “I know you’re referencing me, and, in case it’s any of your business, which it isn’t, Valentine isn’t interested in marrying me. Nor am I interested in marrying her. What happened, happened. We’re happy with our baby, and we’ve worked it out just fine.”
    “I guess I have to know, Archer, in the spirit of family history and precedent,” Crockett said, “did the Curse of the Broken Body Parts factor in? Did she hurt you?”
    “Yes and no,” Archer said crossly. “She kicked me.”
    “Kicked you?” Last asked.
    “In the family jewels,” Archer elaborated.
    They stared at him.
    “And you still eked out triplets,” Last said, his tone admiring. “Had she not disturbed the House of Archer, you could be expecting quads or quints!”
    “I don’t know if that qualifies for The Curse,” Archer said. “I saw stars and maybe a galaxy far, far away. But nothing broke, although it certainly felt crippled at the time.”
    “I think that means you’re safe,” Last opined. “The Curse is a precursor to courtship the hard way, but clearly she didn’t kick you as hard as you thought she did. Although there is probably a story,” he added thoughtfully, “that we need to hear about how a lucky brother goes from receiving a kick in the zipper to unzipping her zipper. Even a stallion usually treads carefully around a filly with aim.”
    “Did you ask this woman to marry you?” Bandera wanted to know.