Finding You

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Authors: Kaydee Scott
again I would send a copy of the video to the Georgia State Bar.”
    “I don’t understand.”
    “My step father is a judge.”
    “Is that how you got the black eye?”    
    “I should have known that I couldn’t beat him but it felt so good to stand up to him.  I had never done that before but stupidly I thought I had scared him enough to leave me alone.  He paid me an unexpected visit a few nights ago.”
    He took the wine bottle to the kitchen.  When he didn’t come back I followed him. 
    “I wish I could say that was all of it but it’s not.  When my step father came to see me, he had pictures of me.”
    “What kind of pictures?”
    “They were from X .  I guess he paid someone to watch me and then he found someone he could pay on the inside. He told me that if I ever leaked the video I sent him he would make sure everyone saw the pictures of me at X ”
    “Are the pictures of us?”
    “No.  It was pictures of me and that…other man.” 
    He ran his fingers through his hair.  I was worried he might start pulling it out. 
    “Someone took pictures of you while you were fucking somebody else at X? ”
    “I didn’t have sex with him.  He passed out before he could…”
    Seemingly unconcerned about me being with anyone else he brought me another glass of wine.  “Does anybody else know about the pictures?”
    “Just you.”
    He turned the bottle of scotch up.
    “I will tell Caroline when I meet her on the 15 th about the pictures.  I should have told her last night but I was too ashamed.  I didn’t want anyone to know about me.”
    Finally after a few minutes he sat down and looked at her.  “Did he abuse you, sexually?”
    Yes. “No.” 
    She knew if she told him just how dirty she was he would never want her.  It was wrong not to tell him, he had the right to have someone much better than her but she wanted him so bad that she made the lie justifiable. 
    “Give me just a moment, please.”  He got up and left the kitchen.
    Without asking she got out the bottle of Vodka and poured a glass.   She would call Caroline tomorrow and see what she could do to work out what she owed her.  She could manage if Caroline would be willing to let her make payments. She knew there was no point in saying anything else to Ian, he had made up his mind.  She wasn’t worth his time.  She had too much baggage. 
    “Nova.”
    I turned not realizing he was in the room with me but I was glad, I did in fact have something that I needed to say.  “I’m so sorry I wasted your time.  I hope you won’t tell anyone about me.  I would very much like to make something of myself.  I would appreciate your confidence.”
    “I can’t make that promise.”
    My heart sank. 
    “Do you mind coming with me just a minute?  I have something to give you.”
    I followed him to his office.  His fax machine was printing.  He collected the pages, stapled them together and handed them to me. 
    “What is this?”
    Staring down at the papers in my hand I realized it was a copy of the contract I had signed with X , the only exception was the word “Void” stamped across it. 
    “I don’t understand.”
    “Your meeting with Caroline has been cancelled.”
    “But you said.” He stopped me before I could finish.
    “I said I couldn’t make that promise because I had already discussed something that you told me with Caroline.  I had to tell her about the pictures.”
    “And the rest?” 
    “You have my word.”
    “Why would you want me after what I told you? I’m not worth investing your money in.  I am nothing.” 
    “You are so very wrong.” 
    “No, I am not.  I am sexually, what was my word, incompetent, in what you are asking of me .”
    He laughed.  “I have tried the merchandise, you do remember that don’t you.”
    “How could I forget?  You fucked me and told me to leave.  The second time, you…”  I couldn’t say it aloud.     
    “Nova, you have no idea how

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