alone was responsible, that somehow the wishsong had given that last image life.
It was impossible, but that was what he believed.
He took deep, slow breaths to steady himself as he climbed out of Dun Fee Aranâs prisons. It was madness to think that his magic could give life to the dead. It suggested possibilities that he could only just bear to consider. Giving life to the dead violated all of natureâs laws. It made his skin crawl.
But it had saved him, hadnât it? It had enabled him to destroy the Ildatch fragment, and that was what he had come to Dun Fee Aran to do. What difference did it make how it had been accomplished?
Yet it did make a difference. He remembered how it had felt to be a part of Garet Jax. He remembered how it had felt to kill those Mwellrets, to hear their frantic cries, to see their stricken looks, to smell their blood and fear. He remembered the grating of his blade against their bones and the surprisingly soft yield of their scaly flesh. He hadnât hated it; he had enjoyed itâenough so that for the brief moments he had been connected to the Weapons Master, he had craved it. Even now, in the terrible, blood-drenched aftermath when his thoughts and body were his own again, he hungered for more.
What if he had not looked back at the last moment and seen himself fading away?
What if he had not sensed the unexpectedly dangerous position he had placed himself in, joined to a ghost out of time?
He found his way up from the prisons more easily than he had expected he would, moving swiftly and smoothly through the chaos. He did not encounter any more Mwellrets until he reached the upper halls, where they were clustered in angry bands, still looking for something that wasnât there, still unaware that the Druid they sought was an illusion. Perhaps the sounds had been muffled by the stone walls and iron doors, but they had not discovered yet what had happened belowground. They did not see him as he passed, cloaked in his magic, and in moments, he was back at the gates. Distracting the already distracted guards long enough to open the door one last time, he melted into the night.
He walked from the fortress through the rain and mist, using the wishsong until he reached the trees, then stopped, the magic dying on his lips. His knees gave way, and he sat on the damp ground and stared into space. His burned hand throbbed and the wound to his arm ached. He was alive, but he felt dead inside. Still, how he felt inside was his own fault. Wasnât bringing Garet Jax back from the dead what he had wanted all along? Wasnât that the purpose of preserving all those memories of Graymark and the Croagh? To make the past he so greatly prized a part of the present?
He placed his hand against the cool earth and stared at it.
Something wasnât right.
If it was the Weapons Master who had fought against the Mwellrets and destroyed the fragment of the Ildatch, why was his hand burned? Why was his arm wounded?
He stared harder, remembering. Garet Jax had carried only one blade in his battle with the Mwellrets, rather than the two all of the other images had carried.
Jairâs blade.
His throat tightened in shock. He was looking at this all wrong. The wishsong hadnât brought Garet Jax back from the dead. It hadnât brought Garet Jax back at all. There was only one of them in that charnel house tonight.
Himself.
He saw the truth of things now, all of it, what he had so completely misread. Brin had warned him not to trust the magic, had cautioned him that it was dangerous. But he had ignored her. He had assumed that because his use of it was different from her own, less potent and seemingly more harmless, it did not threaten in the same way. She could actually change things, could create or destroy, whereas he could only give the appearance of doing so. Where was the harm in that?
But his magic had evolved. Perhaps it had done so because he had grown. Perhaps it was just
Phil Jackson, Hugh Delehanty