Free This Could Be Rock 'N' Roll by Tim Roux

more than matey way. I keep expecting him to kiss me on the cheek or something. Do you think he is trying to take over my life, to be me in some sort of weird kinky way? Poor deluded fool. Well, I suppose we could swap and then I’d get Cathy back and a huge pile of money. I’d have to give up the music though. Harry is tone deaf and likes all the bands I can’t stand, starting with Maximo Park and heading straight for Blur.
    I’ve always been picky about who my friends are so it grieves me that Harry has decided he is going to hang around me like a council snoop. Insofar as he keeps Cathy occupied and decent, I really like the guy, but when he tells her that she is persona non grata and starts hanging around here day and night he is definitely a lot less fun.
    Apart from anything else, we don’t really have anything to say to each other and Jade won’t talk to him at all. However, he does manage to get her off the couch. As soon as she realises that he is at the front door, she is straight on her feet and off to bed. After that, Harry and I enter this eternal conversational loop which no amount of electronic enhancement or sound effects could make interesting.
    Nowadays I drag him down one of the bars on Newland Avenue (usually either Zest or Sleepers) in the hope that we will bump into somebody worth talking to, not that I particularly want to be seen in his company. Failing that, I can at least watch people around me and pray for as much silence from Harry as possible.
    You would think that I might enjoy somebody else complaining about Cathy’s spiky little ways but somehow it really bugs me, partly because Cathy and I are at last getting on better and partly because I really don’t need to be reminded about that part of my life. Harry’s job is to keep Cathy happy and otherwise to keep his mouth zipped. After a hard day of showing people around houses I really don’t need a hard night tolerating Harry.
     
    I’ve had pretend friends,
    And swear til the end friends,
    A few round the bend friends too.
    Promise the world friends,
    And unfaithful girlfriends,
    And head in a whirl friends,
    Well they’re nothing new
     
    And there’s something to say,
    For walking away,
    When you’re drifting apart anyhow.
    If you’re not my friend today,
    Hey, it’s way too late now.
     
    Taking it all friends,
    Bang head on brick wall friends,
    And unreturned call friends too.
    Fat pack of lies friends,
    And can’t meet your eyes friends,
    And fuck off and die friends,
    I’ve had one or two
     
    And there’s something to say,
    For walking away,
    When you’re drifting apart anyhow.
    If you’re not my friend today,
    Hey, it’s way too late now.
     
    So don’t dog me to death,
    Or curse under your breath,
    Like it’s some kind of personal treason.
    So you knew me when,
    We were younger young men,
    But we parted back then for a reason
     
    And there’s something to say,
    For walking away,
    When you’re drifting apart anyhow.
    If you’re not my friend today,
    Hey, it’s way too late now.
     
    *  *  *
     
    Jade is going to get laid off by Skeltons however much her mum struggles to keep her job open for her. She’s just never there unless they set up a branch in our sitting room with Jade tossing buns at people from our couch.
    I don’t want to be hard on Jade because I can imagine that being pregnant and constantly sick is not all its cracked up to be, but I do think she could perhaps make more effort - just get herself onto her feet and persuade herself that she can cope with life. I know that when the baby is born she will no longer be working anyway, but immediately the additional income would be useful even if I am on a winning streak of selling dodgy houses.
    The other problem is that I am constantly feeling summonsed. Jade wants me to sit on the couch with her and chat all the time, except when I am getting her pots of tea and various natural remedies she so believes in. If they are that good, why isn’t she