Free Allegiance by Wanda Wiltshire Page B

so dangerous to the Fae. I had to make you forget me. There was no other way.
    I recalled the crushing sadness I’d lived with when I came back from Faera, that desperate, aching darkness that turned all of my dreams to nightmares—until Jack read Leif’s letter.
    The thought of Jack brought me back to reality with a sickening jolt. I’d just left him alone on the beach, without even a thought—Jack who’d always been my rock! How must he be feeling? I was the worst person ever.
    But everything has changed, Leif. Me and Jack… We’ve been together.
    I know.
    I had to look away from him. I mean really together, Leif, like… lovers.
    After a long pause, Leif said, Marla, whatever has occurred between you and Jack cannot change what I feel for you. Even in my mind, his voice sounded tight.
    My face began to burn. I kept my eyes fixed on my hands balled together in front of me. Well we didn’t, you know… sleep together.
    Another silent moment went by. Sleep together?
    We didn’t have sex, I clarified—a mere mumble in my mind.
    I looked back up in time to see Leif’s face relax into a relieved smile. It would have made no difference if you had.
    Could I be so accepting if I were in his position? I doubted it very much. A memory of a conversation overheard returned to me. Jack knew, didn’t he? That day on the beach wasn’t a dream at all. You were there and he knew you were coming back for me.
    He did.
    Poor Jack. I need to go back and talk to him.
    I offered to alter his feelings, Marla… I can do that for you too. Make you forget.
    I considered his offer for no more than a blink. I hope you don’t mind, but I want to remember my time with him.
    A flash of disappointment crossed his face but quickly he said, How could I mind when he showed such restraint?
    I hesitated a moment, then unwilling to keep things from him said, Well… not complete restraint, Leif. There were a couple of times when things got—’
    ‘Marla, I really have no desire to know,’ Leif interrupted, out loud this time. The pain in his voice was raw and thick.
    ‘I’m sorry…’
    He silenced me with a kiss, his tongue pushing through my lips, opening them with a force that made me instantly breathless. The kiss soon found a rhythm that made my blood burn. When it ended, Leif caught my face in one big hand and said, ‘I won’t alteryour memories, Marla—keep them if you wish—but remember if you share them with me, you will only cause me pain.’
    I nodded, too breathless to speak.
    ‘I will take you to Jack now.’
    My stomach lurched up into my throat at the thought of seeing Jack. What could I possibly tell him that would make any of this okay? He was going to hate me. What had just happened proved every one of his suspicions true. ‘You’ll wait for me won’t you, Leif?’
    I was such a coward.
    ‘Only call for me, my love, and I will come.’

CHAPTER NINE
    Leif left me at the water’s edge and flew away, a flash of brilliant white. Jack was waiting in the exact place I’d left him and, as I strolled up the sand to meet him, my feelings of guilt grew. Not only had I abandoned him the moment Leif turned up, but it must have seemed I’d led him on for all these months. I walked slowly, trying to form some kind of speech in my head. I had nothing.
    ‘I don’t know what to say,’ I said when I reached him. Sorry would’ve been a good start. But I wasn’t sorry, not really. Selfish as it might be, I was glad of the time I’d shared with Jack.
    ‘I’m waiting for my friendly hugs and kisses,’ he said softly. ‘You know, for not giving in to your wantonness—well, not completely anyway.’
    ‘You’ll be waiting a long time because I don’t think I’d be sorry if you had,’ I told him.
    He held me away from him and looked into my eyes. ‘You mean that?’
    I watched my toes for a second before looking back to him. ‘Yeah, I do.’ It’s not like my feelings for him could just evaporate because Leif was