sayââ
âAndy,â Derek Hawke said loudly, âMiss Lane is not a secretary.â
Andrea Hawke stared at her nephew with reproach. âYou donât have to shout, dear, Iâm sure. None of us are wearing hearing aids. What will the servants think if we donât set a good example? Miss Lane,â she said firmly, turning to me, â do you type?â
âAs a matter of fact, I do,â I replied.
âThere,â Andrea Hawke said, throwing her nephew a look of triumph. âThe fact that youâre my nephew and heir does entitle you to certain liberties, Derek, but they hardly extend to calling me a liar in my own house. I wonât ask for an apology now. I havenât the time. Miss Lane can begin her duties immediately.â
Derek Hawke walked over to his aunt and placed his hands firmly on her shoulders. He bent down so that his face was level with hers. When he spoke, his voice was level and controlled, but it was filled with irritation nevertheless.
âMiss Lane is an actress, Miss Lane came from London to see me on a personal matter. Miss Lane is not, repeat, not a secretary, and she was not sent from the employment agency.â
Andrea Hawke looked stunned, then distressed.
âWhy didnât you say so in the first place, Derek? No wonder I canât keep track of things around here. Did you send for a girl?â
âYou never asked me to send for one.â
âMiss Lane,â she said, âI must apologize. You must think Iâm mad. Most people do, as a matter of fact. Not certifiably, of course, or Derek would have already carted me away to the bin and seized the money. As it is, heâll have to wait. Wellââ She sighed, holding her hands out in a gesture of resignation. âNow what shall we do? I suppose Iâll have to wait weeks for Derek to remember to send for a girl, and then sheâll probably have bumps again. You do type, Miss Lane?â
âMiss Lane is not interested in a job,â Hawke said quickly.
âLet her speak for herself, Derek.â
Her voice was a charming lilt, but it carried unmistakable authority. She made an outrageous figure as she stood there with the tattered fur coat half-covering the violently colored smock. I had been stunned at first, but now the eccentric clothes did not seem to matter. She was fluttery and forgetful, and her conduct probably caused deep grievances in the household, but she was in command, and she knew it. Andrea Hawke had the money, therefore the power, and no one would push her around, not even her nephew.
âI once worked as a secretary to a taxidermist,â I said, truthfully enough. I held the job for three weeks at the age of nineteen until the atmosphere of the place drove me away.
âA taxidermist! Iâm against them. Definitely. Dreadful, dreadful state when poor beastsââ She paused, looked at me with a twinkle in her blue eyes, then smiled. âIt must have been stuffy work,â she said, her voice dry.
âQuite,â I said, appreciative. Andrea Hawke wasnât as slow on the uptake as I had first assumed.
âYou donât believe in it, do you?â she asked.
âDefinitely not. Dreadful business.â
âWould you like to work for a slightly befuddled old lady? I have quite a few cats, but theyâre all alive and kickingââ
âAunt Andrea,â Hawke protested, his voice menacing, âI must insistââ
Andrea Hawke turned to me with a charming smile. âDerek is against the whole idea of my writing these memoirs,â she said, as though speaking of a naughty child. âHeâs afraid Iâll tell all the family secrets. Heâs so right! Scandal sellsâlook at those disgusting books my other nephew writesâand there are some delicious scandals to reveal. Did I ever tell you about the countess who stayed here in 1804 and left with a suitcase full of
Katlin Stack, Russell Barber