Untangling Christmas

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Authors: Jean Little
one.
    Friday, December 10, 1920
    Dear Ben,
    I’m feeling better today so I took you out for a ride in your baby sled after school. You looked cuter than any of the children in the Eaton’s catalogue. Your cheeks got so red and your eyes so bright. And you kept waving your arms and shouting baby words.
    I do love you, little Ben. You cheer me up.
    Saturday, December 11, 1920
    Dear Ben,
    Today is more exciting for you because Theo has gone skating and left Hamlet to keep us company. Hamlet, being a Great Dane, is about fifty times as big as you. He lies with his enormous face pushed up to the bars of the playpen so he can watch your every move. He seems to know that when you smack his head, you mean it lovingly. He’s snoring now and you think it is hilarious. You are both clowns.
    I am supposed to write about
you,
Ben, but you want me to stop and show you the catalogue again. You sure can get your message across. All right. We can look at the children’s clothes right now.
    Book Break.
    Aunt has just taken you away to change your diaper. While you are gone, I will write a bit more. It is tricky trying to write about a baby and play with him at the same time. Maybe you will take your first step when you are with me. I wish you would. That would show Miss Fanny. She’s spent the entire day with Connie and never given Aunt a lick of help.
    Not that I have been such a saint.
    Sunday, December 12, 1920
    Dear Ben,
    I am not in a writing mood. Why did I promise your mother I would tell you everything about your first Christmas? I should have known better.
    We are back together, you in the playpen, Hamlet keeping guard and myself writing and grumbling.
    Why am I so grumpy, you ask? Fan has gone out for a walk with Con and Wendell Bowman. I do not like Wendell Bowman. He acts as though Fanny is his private property. He is three years older than she is. It is called “robbing the cradle”! I can’t believe he is seriously stuck on her.
    That is enough for today.
    Monday, December 13, 1920
    Dear Benjamin,
    Today I discovered how precious you are to me. After I came home from school I spread out a blanket on the living room floor so you would be able to have more freedom. Then the doorbell rang. It was a man wanting Father. Then I took time to run to the bathroom for a moment. After all, you usually crawl backwards and you do it slowly. So I was sure you were safe. Yet when I came back you were gone!
    I did not believe it. I looked all over. You were NOWHERE to be found.
    Fanny had taken you, of course. She actually took you OUTSIDE to introduce you to her friend Wendell. She did not even put on your coat and mittens or wrap you up in a shawl. When she came back, your little cheeks were so red and your fingers were almost blue.
    “Wendell says he’s adorable,” she cooed, plunking you down on the blanket and dashing back outside.
    Oh, Ben, I feel as though I’ve lost Fanny as well as Jemma and Jo.
    Tuesday, December 14, 1920
    Dear Ben,
    I got my bangs trimmed. The rest still goes down to my shoulders. Fanny and I look less identical now. I am taller since she was so sick with that flu. Also Iwear specs now because I am short-sighted. You would think Fanny would need them too, but she says she can see perfectly. She had her hair cut in a proper bob ages ago, with disgusting kiss curls on her cheeks and a fringe down to her eyebrows. She said my haircut is nice, but I could tell she thought it was boring. I know it isn’t stylish, but I don’t want to be stylish.
    Or do I? Once in a blue moon, maybe. But not really.
    Aunt says to be patient and that “I will come into my own.” Whatever that means.
    I wish Jo was home more and had time to talk. Since Jemma died, Jo is changed. I guess I would be too if anything happened to Fan. But Jo has moved into a world of medical students and studying and being busy.
    I should remember to tell you some Christmas news, Ben. It is ten days from tomorrow. I know because Theo keeps reminding

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